


Moses the Torchwood Cat

by AwatereJones



Category: Moses the Torchwood Cat
Genre: Alt Verse, Drama, Post-Episode: s01e05 Small Worlds, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2019-08-28 18:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 23,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16728792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: What happened to Moses after Estelle died? What became of the poor old fluff? What if Ianto took pity, what if there was more to this story and in this Alt Verse we find Ianto was much, much more than he let on. What if ... Ianto knew Estelle too?





	1. Chapter 1

Ianto stood in the house looking around with a detached air, his feelings stomped as deep as he possibly could least he fly apart like the leaves still blowing in the open doors to the garden.

Strange but he could smell Gwen still, that cheap perfume lingering even with the rose petals and such scattered about. He sighed as he looked at all the things the old woman had collected over her extremely long life. What the hell was he supposed to do with all this, the Captain not much help as he swanned off with Gwen.

Naturally.

He picked up a photo from the mantle of a young Estelle along with the unmistakable Jack Harkness, knocking a little china fairy from the edge of the mantle and he cursed softly as it landed in his foot then rolled. At least it didn't break I guess. Ianto sank to his knees to grab it from under the old chair and his eyes met wide green ones.

"There you are" Ianto sighed, "Hello Moses."

The cat stared as Ianto slowly blinked and withdrew, sitting back on his haunches as he looked at the fairy, checking for damage but none was found. Ianto looked around the room and felt a strange sorrow. Finally he felt something.

This was how his Gran had lived, a sweet little cottage and a garden out back. Chair by the hearth and a mountain of all things piled up. Ianto wondered what would become of this place, she had no immediate family but Ianto knew she did once have a sister …. Her family the only one she knew. Seems she still loved the man who never came home from the war, his son a lovely balm. Shit. Did she leave it all to Jack?

Ianto's first concern was for the fluffy creature peeking out at him now, coming to the edge of the chair fringe to look up at him as Ianto sighed softly, "Come on. Let's see if I can find your carrier, you will have to come with me tonight, too late ot do anything else."

Ianto found the carrier in the hall closet where he thought it would be and gently lifted the cat into it, then lifted it and hugged it against him as he checked all the lights were off and the doors were closed, the wood over the broken windows seemed so … crass.

"Come on buddy, let's go home."

.

.

.

.

Ianto closed the door to his apartment and knelt to open the carrier, Moses sitting in the back of it glaring at him. "well… suit yourself then."

Ianto went to the small kitchenette and opened a tin of food from the bag he had carried in, the sound of the tin opener making Moses peek out with feigned disinterest. Ianto placed the place of food down next to the bowl of water and went to the bedroom, only a three room apartment. Kitchen, living, bedroom and bathroom. Pokey little thing but all he could afford at the moment. Lisa had tapped him out financially and he knew this was his life now. Easier ya know … since he would die young anyway. Right? All Agents did … well … those without Great Coats anyway.

Ianto settled on the sofa to watch the cat stalk from the carrier to the kitchen on his belly, sniffing at the food before tucking in, Ianto's check of the bins to ensure the right cat food now paying off as Moses chewed with his old jaws clacking.

Ianto settled back to consider things, make some calls and then try to rest his poor tired feet. It had been a long, hard day. The knock on the door was a surprise and he levered himself up, opening it to find Jack on the other side.

"Sir."

"Ianto, I understand from Tosh that you are clearing the scene at the house, thank you" Jack said then stopped talking as Moses stalked in the background, checking the height of the sofa before leaping up. "Moses?"

"It was too late to drop him off at a shelter and he's so old … they would probably euthanize him" Ianto shrugged, "Doesn't feel right. I will look around tomorrow for a home. Not allowed pets."

"What else is to be done?" Jack asked as he stepped inside and pushed the door shut, the closeness of the man unsettling Ianto who stepped back immediately to create space again yet that smell …. Gods. That smell.

"The funeral and such, I have the lawyer's name, will seek a will and hopefully there will be what arrangements she wants. I will see to it" Ianto said as he leaned back more "Since I have some time off it seems."

"Are you sure?" Jack screwed his face up in that way that always made him look like a small child apologising for spilling milk on the floor and once again Ianto felt that tug of affection he swallowed back down.

"Sure. For her"

Needed to clarify that.

Not for him.


	2. This Jones Character

Ianto sat in the lawyer's office and blinked slowly as he listened to the man speak, the three piece suit obviously unnerving the fat man as it cost more than the monthly rent on the little office they were in. Ianto couldn't really afford it but … it was an occasion and since it was his last good one he wanted to get some wear out of it.

"Her nephew"

"Yes, her sister's child. Apparently he held a special place in her heart, something about the Wilding Wood?" the man looked up and watched Ianto frown, then nod for him to continue, "Stelle told me that she used to take him there when he was a child, a bond there."

"Yes" Ianto replied softly "She liked to go there for the fairy folk. Took photos and left offerings."

"Yes, her bloody hobby" the lawyer snorted, "anyway, I need to find this ….ah….."

"Ianto Jones" Ianto supplied for him and the man looked up.

"Yes, that's the one, I need … wait. What did you say your name was?"

"Ianto Jones" Ianto supplied "She was my mother's older sister."

"Ah, of course. Right. That makes things easier she left everything to you, lock, stock and barrel" the man relaxed as he finally realised this was not his problem anymore and Ianto picked up the file.

"Her affairs were in order? Bills?"

"She paid everything on time had a lovely big trust fund from when her parents died. After her Da died she was her mother's only caregiver until her eventual death about ….ah …. Eight years ago. Since she never married she lived with them and cared for them both until their eventual demises. As such she inherited everything. Must have been a tense thing with your mother" the man frowned.

"My mother died when I was still a small child. My father raised me on his own. Just me and my sister" Ianto replied. "He did not know I visited her, I always told him I was going to the library. He did not approve of her fairy brained ideas as he called them. Rhiannon didn't care either way, never jelled with her."

"Ah, Rhiannon. Yes, there was a small mention of her. Apparently your aunt did not like the man Rhiannon married and wrote her out of the will I'm afraid"

"Johnny is an arse who openly scoffed at Aunt Estelle's hobby as you put it" Ianto agreed. "Rhiannon chose … I did as well. Although in recent years I have not had anything to do with her bar the occasional visit on holidays … well. She was always off on an adventure or doing the rounds talking and doing her presentations."

"I am sorry for your loss. What will you do with the place?" the man asked and Ianto shrugged as he wondered if his Gran's old recipe books were still there somewhere. Bound to be. Right?

Ianto left with paperwork and went back to the cottage that had been in his mother's family for nigh on eleven generations, no … Twelve? Well. Thirteen now. His lucky number, go figure. Huh. As he looked around he remembered playing here, his mama's voice calling him up from the back of the garden as Auntie's laughing voice told her to leave the poor lad alone.

Moses sat watching the man he remembered vaguely, a sad weepy child with warm arms at night in the little room ... grew to a polite man came who about four or five times a year and pleased the Mistress no end with his gifts, warm voice and cuddles. He rose from his seated spot he liked by the hearth to plod over and sniff at the horrible wooden panels covering the broken glass in the door, Ianto turning to see "careful Moe, that's bitey. Might cut you. I should get that sorted first, eh?"

_Yes._

_Good idea Squishy._

The cat sat again and watched Ianto call for a glazier to come refit the glass, then Ianto did what Moses really wanted him to do, he lit the fire _. Ahhhhhh. Perfect. Thanks Squishy._

"Stop that" Ianto said softly as he pulled the drawer open in one of the many dressers, "You know I hate it when you call me that."

_Squishy?_

"Want me to call you Fluffle Bum?" Ianto asked and the cat let his amusement flow. _Cheeky little squishy bean!_

Ianto knew he would not win the argument with this being and let it slide, even as a small child he would taunt him so. Bloody shit. Lovely fluffy beast. Ianto sat and Moses claimed the lap with ease, leaning into the large chest of the man who had grown big and made himself appear small.

Ianto wrapped his arms around his childhood friend and let Moses grieve for his lost friend. He had known Estelle most of her life and lamented the short lifespan of these humans … well most of them. That one in the coat still needed explaining.

"Not tonight" Ianto said softly, letting his fingers stroke through the cat's fur "Come on. Food and bed. I take it my room is still up there, eh?"

_Yes._

_Of course._

_Squishy._

"Stop it!"


	3. I see You

With the glass restored, the house airing out and Ianto finding himself in a world of his childhood dreams, Ianto began the task of cleaning house. Literally. He started with his grandparent's room, one Estelle had left as it had always been and it felt weird to even sleep next to it. But it was so much bigger than the pokey little one he was stuck in with children's wall paper.

Once he had cleared it all out and set everything on the back lawn it was easier to go through it, find what he wanted to keep, discard what needed to go in the skip he had ordered. He found pocket watches, cufflinks, news paper articles, even his grandfather's world war one medals placed in a box in the back of the dresser. Wow. Didn't even know about those.

As Ianto worked he felt better, the scrubbing of the walls therapeutic even if they did sort of remind him of scribing the concrete back in that … _stop it._ Yes. Quite right. Thanks for that. _Moving on_. Back to scrubbing and then a lick of paint on the ceiling and architraves, the skirting and window frame.

The room looked brilliant. Ianto turned to Moses "We need to let it all dry and set. The smell of paint is so unpleasant, I know. But if we persevere and sleep at the flat tonight … I know. You hate it there. Not much longer old man."

Moses relented and agreed that the smell of paint did not go well with the fish he wanted tonight. Ianto got the carrier and the cat settled into it, then he headed to his flat where he met the landlord on the stairs.

"Mister Jones, is that a cat?"

"Yes. Just for tonight" Ianto replied calmly, "My Aunt has died and I am taking him to a new home tomorrow."

"Well … I guess so. Can it stay in its box?"

"Of course" Ianto lied easily, "And I am giving notice. I need to move on now … things to do."

"What?" the old man gaped as he looked at his best ever tenant. As hardly ever there and paid so well. "Well … got to pay the end of the month!"

"Of course, I already have and please take my bond for the last payment, I would hate for you to be out of pocket while finding another tenant." Ianto said with a slow nod of agreement, instantly pleasing the old man who had forgotten about the bloody bond. Good.

Ianto went up and began to pack as Moses watched from the arm of the sofa, careful to rub as much fur as he could into the fabric. _Old prick. Stay in the box indeed_.

Ianto snorted with mirth as he watched the cat stalk about looking for something to scratch. Again came the knock and this time Ianto was ready, stepping well back as Jack swished in and smiled disarmingly "Hi there. Whatcha been doing?"

"Aerobics" Ianto answered with a droll expression, "Good for the blood flow."

Jack stared, blinked then snorted … then laughed as Ianto turned to activate the coffee machine. Bum. Got to get that out of here somehow. Needed transport. How the hell cold he …

"Apparently Rhys asked after you" Jack supplied the answer, "Apparently you were in the school choir together and some sports team or something."

"Yeah. He's a nice fella" Ianto agreed as he placed the mugs down and Jack looked over at Moses.

"Still have him I see."

"Yes. Been busy ya see. Estelle's estate and stuff to sort" Ianto said, knowing the low blow of bringing her up would make Jack uncomfortable, "Found some interesting photos of your father. He was quite the looker in that coat."

Jack stared at Ianto silently or a while as something whirred and clicked, "You know."

"Well … Lisa put enough volts through you to kill a rhino in heat sir … on methamphetamine." Ianto said with that same blank expression, "but I knew in Bute Park when I saw your neck. Really."

"Really."

"Hmmmmm, Torchwood"

"Ah yes, Torchwood One, I forgot. Of course you knew more than you let on. Tell me Ianto, is any of your file true or did you make everything up?" Jack asked "Bar Lisa, since we … met."

_A low blow back …. Ooooo tit for tat is it?_

Ianto frowned at Moses and the cat flicked his tail as he presented his arse for his own low blow then he stamped to his food bowl, admitting maybe he should just butt out.

"My name is Ianto Jones. I am Welsh, born and bred. I a, 26 and worked at Torchwood One since I was 21. Before that I worked in a library during the day and at night as a Barista to make ends meet." Ianto supplied "My favourite colour is red, I hate rude people who push in line and love peonies over roses any day. I watched Lone Ranger, listened to War of the Worlds and prefer the written word to the movie. Also … I was not an analyst at T1. I was an operative. I had a level 2 clearance and know all I need to understand that you are not here to Retcon me or put a bullet in me. A bad man knows a bad man. You know I am not a bad man."

"Do I " Jack snorted. "Does that make me a bad man? Or a good one too?"

"Yes. A good man also knows a good man" Ianto rose and let his hand rest on Jack's shoulder for a moment before breaking the connection and Jack sat for a while as he pondered the warmth in the touch.

Was he truly a good man?

Were either of them?

How did he know he needed that right now.

At least someone believed in him after all.


	4. remember me did you?

A new day and the paint was dry. Moses checked with his nose to be certain as Ianto shook his head and rolled his eyes, then the cleaning resumed. Well … the new bed arrived as well. That was an event as Moses tried to trip the delivery men up as much as possible. Ianto didn't even scold as he knew this was one of Moses' favourite things to do and he did enjoy a good tripping.

A huge king sized bed, larger than what Ianto had in the pokey flat and he took a moment to lay on it and stare at the bare walls and look at the freshly painted ceiling, then he began enjoying the comfortable space. Moses didn't care, it didn't even have sheets for the love of gods. Ew. Ianto laughed and made the bed up, the old crocheted rug from Estelle's room on the foot of the bed where Moses liked it and as the cat settled to purr to himself Ianto went back to cleaning. The kitchen today … not much to do there. It was a nice room and Ianto didn't' really want to change everything about. Learned to cook in here as a child after all.

Then the main living room. He had been putting this off but knew he had to rip that band aid off so with a groan of annoyance he emptied everything to the lawn again, huffing as he found more rubbish than you can imagine. Old magazines, messy papers and receipts for things. The instruction books for five house lots of appliances that were long gone to white goods heaven. Crazy.

Buttons.

Coins.

Ianto knew the skip was filling up a bit, he did find some lovely little eccentricities and the furniture now easily seen was mahogany. Gorgeous once polished and settled back on the freshly steam cleaned carpets. Ianto had felt naughty sneaking into tht Hub to snatch the one used for …. Ah … cleanup … but the team were not there and would never know. They obviously did not know about the harbour entrance he had used to smuggle Lisa in as it was not alarmed of monitored by Mainframe. They didn't even know it existed. The cleaner was sitting there in the side room full of Ianto's scene setting. Big beast of a thing that washed and dried carpets all at once, taking out blood, grime… body fluids and leaving the floor pristine. Look at that, the carpet actually had a pattern. All his life he had placed on the carpet of old dull browns only to find underneath were leaves of many varying autumn colours, faded but still pretty in the glow of the fire.

Moses sat looking as well. He had forgotten this carpet, here when they first moved in as a family way back in …. Shit. Gods knows … at least a hundred and twenty years ago. Time is different for a Felinealliod .

"Hungry?"

Moses accepted the food and enjoyed it by the fire, Ianto settling with a plate of cheese and crackers even letting Moses have some cheese, even though they both knew the flatulence from the old fluffy back portal later might be rank.

Nice of him to allow that.

"So" Ianto said after a while "Sunday tomorrow. Gonna have a day off, what do you think? Just lay on the couch and read a book or something. Not care about shit. Will that work for you?"

Moses agreed with that.

_Sounds good._

Ianto was still pondering this as he pulled over the file of paperwork and started to go through it, his hand stilling as he found a gardener's receipt. Seems there was a local lad who did the gardens and lawns regularly. Hmmm. Might pay to keep him on.

_Yeah. Henry._

Ianto made a call and the boy was overjoyed to still have a job and Ianto was pleased to know there was someone living in the street that might look after Moses if he had to go away, as the boy had for Estelle when off on one of her seminars.

_Excellent._

Moses liked young Henry. Funny chap with his hat backwards and pants that fell down if you yanked them correctly from behind. Always made the lad laugh as he scolded, and bopped the cat's head with his fingers.

_A kind heart._

Ianto walked around with the boy, listened to his enthusiastic talking then glanced over at Moses who flicked his tail with a disinterested air. _Yes. Like him._

That night Ianto was exhausted, as he had been every night since his little project had started. He ached, had bruises from bangs and scrapes while moving furniture and boxes. Slept like the dead. Felt amazingly good about it all.

It had been two weeks since she had died, one more week and his suspension was up. He was pondering this as he looked around the house and saw that he still had so much to do, wanted to do ya know? A lick of paint in the kitchen for one. He didn't like the old outdated cupboards and saw that some fire engine red cupboards with white trim might boost things. As he stood contemplating this there was a knock at the door and Ianto hummed to himself as he wandered over and opened the front door to find Jack standing there with a look of doom.

"Sir?"

"Where the hell have you been, you've not been home all week!" Jack growled, "I finally remembered you were clearing this place out."

"Actually … I live here now" Ianto replied calmly, watching Jack's start of surprise.

Totally worth the anger that came after.

_Totally._


	5. why do you need me?  Really?

"You should have told me", "what the hell do you mean" and the best one in Ianto's option was "but it doesn't belong to you" were ranted during a rampage about responsibility, conditions of suspension and other meaningless tripe Jack seemed to think made him sound in control even as his flapping arms showed he clearly wasn't.

"Sir, I did leave a message with Gwen, she answered your office phone" Ianto said after he was sure Jack was breathing again "Perhaps the post-it is in the mountains of shit on your desk since I am not there to sort it each morning for you."

Jack stared at Ianto then frowned "Why are you here anyway?"

"I like it here" Ianto replied.

"Is it even legal?" Jack demanded now, looking around and seeing the fresh paint and clean walls. Then he pushed past Ianto into the house and stormed to the living room, the mantelpiece less cluttered and less … junky but a few pieces remained including the photo of Jack and Estelle. One of Ianto and Lisa was also there and Jack stared at it for a while before turning to face Ianto, finally seeing the old cat seated in his usual chair. "Hello Moses."

Moses was not interested and looked at Ianto who frowned, "there is food in your bowl already. The fish bites you wanted. If you want beef you need to wait, you are too fat as it is!"

Moses sat bolt upright and sucked his cheeks in, his whiskers slapping together like a walrus as he glared as Ianto then stalked off, his arse jauntily bopping.

"Kept him too?"

"Yes. He sort of goes with the furniture, same cat coloured fur and all" Ianto shrugged, like there was a single hair anywhere but on the cat "Besides. Estelle loved him so."

Jack pointed to the old portraits on the wall, "And these? Keeping them too? Not creepy?"

"See? Her Da." Jack turned slowly to look at Ianto as the man pointed to an old faded painting on the wall "That's my Grandy. He was a Master Tailor you know, a clever man. Aunty Estelle and Mama his only children, never had a son and I was so loved. He died when I was still very small but I remember him. I think his suits are what I member the most, did you know some are still here? They fit!"

"Estelle had a nephew and a niece" Jack whispered, "The niece married a tub of lard and had two children too. She lamented little Ifan and his lack of offspring."

"Ifan. Ianto. Yes. Gandy was Ifan, I was named for him but the child version, Ianto. Ianto for Ifan, like Billy for William. Jimmy for James" Ianto nodded.

"Ianto …. Estelle was your aunt?"

Ianto frowned, "Sir, you are usually quicker on the uptake. Yes. I inherited this place, it is mine and I intend living here where my Grandparents lived, their parents blah blah blah."

"Ianto. I have never heard you say blah blah blah. It seems so …. Owen" Jack said with surprise.

"Stop trying to deflect while you sort out your feelings about this. It is not my job to make you feel better about the situation. She was my aunt as much as you were her Beau before running off with the doctor or whatever you did." Ianto huffed, "I have lost my girlfriend, my aunt and have this mess to clean up not to mention you and …. Well. Whatever."

"Me?" Jack raised his eyebrows "Go on. Finish that thought. Come on … what about me in all this?"

Ianto seemed to struggle, then turned away as Moses watched with growing annoyance. _Just tell him already._

Ianto swung to the cat "And you stay out of this!"

Jack snorted, "You sounded just like Estelle. She scolded him like that sometimes."

"Because he is an opinionated arse" Ianto sighed rubbing his face, "The fact is … I knew Lisa was gone. Always knew she was gone but didn't want to fail her. I promised her. I hate breaking those, it's bad luck. Look. You …. You muddy the waters OK? I found you alluring, fine and damned exhausting. OK? I miss your messy wrestling in the corners of the Hub, I miss your dick in my hand, mine in yours. I miss that. In the end I was embarrassed to go to Lisa smelling of you but I didn't want to shower you away just yet."

Jack was still standing there as Ianto pushed past him and started to angrily slam things into a box for the charity shop "to tell you the truth Sir, I can't get rid of you can I. Like … a drug. Can you leave please? You found me, I am alive and everything is fine. I left all the codes and all the numbers for the favourite takeaway places, you do not need me."

"Ianto … what if I do?" Jack asked softly, Ianto looking up at him with growing annoyance.

"For what! A blow job?"

"Actually, I need the camping gear. Got a little job for the team." Jack grimaced at the look of pure anger coming off Ianto as the cat seemed to echo it. "wanna come? You like camping, right?"

"Is Owen coming?"

"Yes" Jack nodded "He just doesn't know it yet."

Ianto's' smile was definitely unnerving as he canted his head "Wouldn't miss it!"


	6. shot across Jack's bow

"Well, that was about it except for throwing up in Owen's lap" Ianto said from the sofa, his arm over his eyes, "I guess that can be considered a highlight."

Moses had waited for Ianto to come back from his little camping thing and expected him muddy and tired, but this…. He was incensed. Blood, gore, crying in the bathtub as he weepily told Moses what had happened, the cat sitting on the closed toilet lid listening politely … as is the way. I mean …. Shit a turd the size of a cucumber!

Unfortunately for Jack, he did not know the full strength of this creature and calmly let himself into the house, calling out for Ianto like he had every right to do so. The keys jangling as he slid them back into his pocket. "Yan?"

_Really?_

Moses moved with the unusual stealth of his kind, Jack finding himself flat on the floor with a grunt of pain, his head having contacted the coffee table first. As he lay there grunting with pain Moses moved around to get into his face, so close Jack could feel his whiskers… and rage.

"Moses? What are you doing?" Ianto asked from the doorway as he tried to pull on a robe over his PJ pants, "Stop that!"

Jack looked at the dishevelled man, woken from his uneasy slumber by the thud of a large body on a wooden floor "Christ! Your skin!"

Ianto looked down at himself, the bruising livid in the moonlight with the robe given up on and the PJ bottoms riding low on his hips. Needed to put a bit of weight on, all those lovely suits might not fit soon. He blinked and looked at Jack with a soft frown, "Owen said he wrote it all up, do you never read reports?"

"Ianto …" Jack struggled to his feet and approached with his hands splayed out like Ianto was a spooked horse and Ianto felt this overwhelming desire to neigh at him. Moses snorted softly at the thought. "Oh Ianto. Gods, I know they hurt you but … Owen glossed over it with his usual whiney voice."

"It is not Owen's fault he is a cockney bastard" Ianto defended and Jack laughed softly.

"Look, I am fine, Moses will look after me" Ianto waved a hand at the cat who was silently regarding the two men, his slow blink of agreement not missed by Jack who sighed. Moses wondered if he might convince him to take those boots off. He recalled vomiting in one once, Jack's screams making Estelle laugh. He might do more this time. Ianto tried to school his features at the mental image Moses was projecting and he couldn't help but glance down at those boots.

_Blerk? Or Turrrrrrrrd!_

Jesus Moses!

"Well … I just … you scared me today" Jack finally admitted, "I … I lost a team once, I never…"

"The Millennium" Ianto whispered, "I remember that."

"Yeah. Think you know a guy, then he suddenly kills everyone" Jack huffed with undisguised sorrow.

"Well he was sleeping with you. Worked for me, didn't it?" Ianto's voice was flat, his eyes hooded, "Please Jack. Just … go check on Toshiko. She got a hell of a scare, he almost raped her. I think it will stay with her longer than anyone else. Yeah? She does not understand how closely death stalks those he can't quite snatch."

Ianto seemed to consider, almost argue then with a nod he walked to the front door, looking back at Moses as he opened it and motioned, "Goodnight then."

Jack then hesitated again, stepping back into the hallway, "Ianto? Why did Estelle name each cat she got she same thing?"

"Huh?" Ianto was too concussed and too exhausted to care as he stared at Jack.

"Moses. Ever since I knew her … all these years. The cat always looks the same. A black fluffy with a white moustache and bib .. socks. Did she get them from the same breeder?"

Ianto looked like he wanted to throttle Jack, "What? What? You know … for a bloody immortal time travelling gigolo fucking conman … I mean … seriously? The same looking cat for sixty or eighty odd years? Maybe he's immortal too ... you are not that clever for someone who is supposed to be a 51st century improvement on the apes of this time!"

Jack snorted, "Yeah. Right. Sorry."

It wasn't until Jack was in the SUV driving for the Hub that he replayed that moment and he slammed the brakes on, gripping the wheel as he reheard the words. Immortal. Time travel. Conman. Gigolo. Shit. Shit.

How the hell did Ianto know all that?

And why had he turned to the cat and told him to stop laughing?

Cats don't laugh.

Do they?


	7. Owen and other arses

"Ianto?"

Ianto glared at the answer machine as Moses huffed softly on the sofa "Ianto? Are you there? Ahhhhh, it's Jack. Listen, can you get to the Hub right away? If you don't hear this for another half hour … don't leave the house. Lock it down and ….ah….seal the windows and doors. Like fire drill time, wet towels and stuff, nothing gets in. Right?"

Ianto picked up the phone, "Jack?"

"Good. Good, get here!"

Ianto considered and looked at Moses, "Alright sir, see you soon."

He placed the receiver down and looked at the carrier still in the hallway, "Well? You want to stay here or come with? Fire drill? He makes it sound like the world will be on fire! With him anything is possible ya know"

Moses considered.

He walked over to the cat carrier and waited patiently for Ianto to open it then they were soon at the doors to the Hub, the sky an unusual green colour. He punched in the code and then skipped down the steps into the Hub, the place in its usual state of madness without him there.

"What is that" Owen demanded as he stomped towards him "A cat?"

"No Owen. It's an alien, I was short on containment boxes and it wouldn't fit in my pocket" Ianto deadpanned "He is a shape-shifting alien capable of sucking your life force right out of your body, like those old fables about cats stealing your breath. Felinealiod are deadly"

"Cool" Owen deadpanned back, then snorted, crouching to peer into the cage Ianto had placed on the coffee table, "Awwwwww. Can I let him out?"

"Is Myfanwy contained? She might get startled and last time it took days to get the smell out of the place" Ianto looked up as he spoke, checking the aviary doors were closed and Owen made an impatient noise as he reached for the box.

"Yeah, she's in lockdown already ….awwwwwww….a mustachio ahhhhhh" Owen plucked the cat up and cuddled him with delight, "You didn't say you had a cat. All this time I thought you were a creepy bastard. If you'd said you had a cat I might have liked you sooner!"

"Sooner?" Ianto canted an eyebrow "Does that mean you like me now?"

"Don't be a fucking twat, of course I do!" Owen snorted as he settled into the corner of the sofa wit the cat in his lap, Moses letting the little man cuddle with him "Awwwwwww, he's all … soft."

"Yes. He is lovely and soft."

_I may bite him if he does not stop squeezing, I did have cheese last night!_

"What did you say he name was?"

"Fluffles" Ianto said with a dangerous glint in his eye "Short for Fluffle Bum."

Owen laughed softly, "Nah, something regal like … Sir Monterey or something right?"

"Moses!" Gwen said as she finally looked over and saw the cat "That's Estelle's cat!"

"Mine!" Ianto snapped, slightly protective as he felt Moses cringe at the name of his lovely gone friend.

"Well I think he has enough handsomeness for all of us!" Owen crooned, "Yeahhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhh, he's warm like a mink coat on a good high class hooker."

_Excuse me?_

"Owen …"

"I had a cat once, called her Petronia. She was white and had crooked eyes. Her tongue hung out a lot and she did this weird staring into space thing. I sometimes wondered if she was mentally deranged or something" Owen said conversationally as Moses laid his ears back in warning.

"Owen… don't squeeze will you, he has a soft tummy and is a bit…"

_Nope. Too late. I must share my doom._

Owen froze as the fart was audible, Ianto's hands going to his hips as he huffed "Told you so. Now he will be arsey all day. He hates farting!"

"Oh my god, that's rank" Owen released the cat and expected it to run away, but Moses rose majestically to his feet and turned to stare into Owen's face which was slightly unnerving, but that smile … Owen would tell them all for the next two hours that the damned thing smiled at him, teeth and all before getting off. Well … and farting again!

"So, how long are we here for?" Ianto asked loudly as he placed the backpack in the kitchen with the tins of cat food in it, kneeling to place them under the sink. Might as well, even if it's for a few hours it means they are here for future sleepovers.

Myfanwy called out as she heard Ianto's voice, her face to the grating of her doors as she watched Ianto and Moses looked up.

_Bird. Big fucking bird._

"That's Myfanwy. Pterodactyl. I did tell you about her, remember? Jack and I caught her in a warehouse" Ianto said absently as Moses craned his head to look up, then he blinked and looked over at Jack who was watching from the doorway.

_Who caught who? He's looking at your arse!_

Ianto couldn't help the snort of humour as Moses sounded so disgusted, arses were not things of great interest or mystery to him.

Ianto rose to smile at Jack who blurted "The Doctor will fix it, he's in the area. I just can't seem to get in touch … he's not in range for …ah … well. Owen likes cats!"

"Yes who would have thunk it!"

Jack heard one of Estelle's standard answers and could help it as his smile softened to a more affectionate one.

_Who indeed._


	8. Owen falls in love

Ianto was handing out drinks, watching Owen who had seemingly forgiven Moses and was again nursing him.

"I used to have a ginger"

"Christ how many did you own?" Gwen snorted.

"A few"

"Gwen? Where's Rhys?" Ianto cut into the conversation and she stared at him then balked. "right. On it."

Ianto hooked out his phone and hit call "Oi! Rhyssie Bear, where are ya big man!"

"Big man" Owen repeated softly with shock.

"Yah, I saw. Shitty right? Listen, come to the secret base, you know where, I showed you the entrance right? We put the steam cleaner back the other day" Ianto was walking in a small circle as the entire team watched with wonder, "Yeah. That's right 1234, I know … best code in the word eh?"

"OK, see you in ten." He looked up at the team and frowned, Ianto closed the call "Luckily he was at the yards, not off on a delivery. What. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You know my Rhys?" Gwen asked calmly.

"Sure. We went to school together, were in the choir. We play footy!" Ianto said like she was deranged, "Just this week he moved my coffee machine for me."

"He never told me!" she spluttered.

"Why would he!" Ianto replied with confusion, "He's not supposed to know about this place, I told him in secret. Made him pinkie swear."

"Pinkie …. Pinkie …." Owen was sniggering as Gwen's gape.

"Gonna come now, Gwen go to the lower entrance … shit. Look at your face. Go to the elevator and push LL. You know .. . Lower Level. It's the one under BB … the internal Boat Bay" Ianto mimed pushing a button.

"Boat Bay" Owen said slowly.

"Yes, should make sure the seals engaged for that, sometimes debris catches in the rollers" Ianto strode down to the boat docks with Jack and Owen followed with Moses in his arms like a large comfort toy, confronted with the River Queen, the Sea Princess and Ianto's favourite Taffy Man, the speedster he preferred for Flat Holm jaunts. "Good. External doors closed and internal seals in place."

"Do we have a submarine too?" Owen snorted.

"No, we did have but Jack scuttled it" Ianto sighed.

"Had to!" Jack pouted as he pushed off from the door frame and stomped back up the steps, calling over his shoulder, "Liked her too."

_I have never been on a boat._

"Some boats have cats, Moe. There are cats called Boat Cats, live on a boat, swim and eat all the fish they want" Ianto crooned and Moses let his whickers flop with open awe.

"Maybe after this latest 'end of the world' thing we can talk about it, OK? Take a boat out one day for you to see if you have sea legs." Ianto promised.

_I have black legs._

Moses held one up, a paw waving.

_And white toesies._

"No … I don't mean that" Ianto laughed and Owen frowned.

"He is answering you!" Owen said "JACK GET BACK HERE! Ianto is hallucinating. He thinks the cat is talking to him!"

_**I AM LITTLE SHITHEAD!** _

Owen took a moment "JACK! I AM TOO!"

"No you are not, he really answered you. Stop pissing him off, Moses does not like mocking!" Ianto sighed, "I told you … he is a Felinealiod."

_I prefer to be called a God!_

"Stop it, he is really confused, he doesn't grasp the whole … 'we came to take over the world then decided to live here instead' thing" Ianto scolded, "Look….like Cone Heads right? They came in Egyptian times … well … Greek … pre-Greek? Moe?"

_I don't know, time is relative anyway_

"Don't start that argument, last time you got into an argument with Godrick I had to separate the two of you!" Ianto sighed.

"I … I am really hearing him. Shit … cats talk?"

"Alien ones do. Just … remember that" Ianto reminded him "they are everywhere, hidden amongst the common puss … don't start Moe, compared to you I mean."

"He really is …real" Owen smiled softly as he stroked the cat's head "But … why not tell everyone?"

Ianto looked at Moses, Gwen in their minds as Ianto said softly "I know I can trust you. Moses trusts you. He will reveal himself to each team member as he sees fit. Owen, the girls might freak out, so soon after the fairies … the Mara, ya know? Best between us guys, right?"

"Jack knows?" Owen asked as he continued to croon at Moses.

"No. Moses chose you first" Ianto said his largest gambling chip and was rewarded with Owen's face changing to one of ownership as he clutched the cat.

"He trusts me over him? Yeah? Wow, its OK mate, your secret is safe with me. OK. We can do this" Owen was overjoyed to be chosen for something, all those years being last picked for a sports team, second best at things …. Moses chose him. HIM

_I like you, you rub me the right way Owie._

"He called me Owie" Owen gushed, totally owned

Ianto silently scolded the cat for taking a slave so easily.

_Yes, he is easy._

_But sweet._


	9. Hello birdie

Owen was feeding Moses again and Ianto withheld the urge to scold once again for spoiling the old shit who knew perfectly well he was not allowed that tin until bedtime.

Moses gave Ianto a glance of triumph then tucked in, pausing as a noise overhead had Owen squeaking with horror. They had forgotten to turn off the automatic release for Myfanwy and even with the other doors closed, the aviary still swung open.

Ianto was on the sofa with a file, his legs crossed and the two girls sitting with him engrossed in some CCTV footage of the strange sky. Jack was watching another feed that showed a blue box, too far for him to get to and he knew it was a missed opportunity. Damn.

Owen fell back on his butt as Myfanwy slammed into the grating, towering over man and fuzzy little beast to stare down at Moses.

"IANTO!" Owen stage whispered and Tosh looked up.

"Oh my god!"

"It's OK, he won't hurt her" Ianto said as he flicked a page over, "He likes birds."

Both women turned their heads to stare at him like he had lost his goddamned mind and Moses stood on his four stubby legs, presenting his nose. Myfanwy gently leaned down to bop with him then she shuffled back and squawked. He meowed. She canted her head then squawked some more.

"Are they talking?" Owen asked.

"Don't know … not really listening" Ianto said disinterestedly, then he unfolded his legs and rose, Jack finally looking away from the London feed to watch the handsome man stalk across the floor, "Coffee?"

"Yes please Tiger!" Jack called, settling in the warm spot Ianto had just vacated then turning to Tosh, "Whatcha doing?"

"Watching to see if the big scary leather bird is going to eat the fluffy little cat Owen is about to defend with …. Owen is that the fire extinguisher from under my desk? You know that's a foam one right? Ianto will kill you if you make a mess!"

Moses looked back at Owen with amusement.

_It's OK, we are friends. She visits at his place sometimes as she follows his scent there._

"Oh" Owen lowered the extinguisher, "She goes to his flat?"

"I live at Estelle's house now" Ianto said as he returned with drinks "I am her nephew you know, she and my mama were sisters. I inherited it and Moses is happy there."

"Awwww" Owen gushed softly, "Do ya mate? Close to her, right?"

_Not really, she is in that hole Ianto showed me with all the other dead people in that field with strange stones_

Owen blinked then laughed, shaking his head as Tosh frowned, watching him reaching out to bop the cat's head with his fingers and whisper "cheeky"

"Is he wearing a collar?" she asked as she accepted her drink "Or some charm?"

"No mind control devices are evident" Ianto guessed straight away why she was asking, "Moses is just a greedy sod who loves slaves. Owen is apparently a willing one."

She nodded and relaxed "I always wanted a cat but my brother was allergic."

"Koiko, right?"

"Yes!" she was pleased Ianto remembered his name, he was good like that "Lives in Ohio."

"Yes. A Turkey Farm. I never heard the likes" Ianto grinned "Moses would be in heaven seeing all those potential roast turkeys running about."

She giggled as Owen grinned and scooped the cat up, also the saucer, "Finished bud? Come on, you can watch me wash it and then you will know where it is for afters."

"Afters. Owen he does not need afters…Owen … Moses stop it!" Ianto called after them as Rhys wandered past drying his hands on a tea towel "You will throw up of you eat any more!"

"He threw up in my boot once" Jack said conversationally, "Funnily enough his ancestor did too, when I was courting a young Estelle. He didn't like me either."

Rhys placed the tea towel over a radiator them slumped into a chair "Dishes done. Lasagne in the oven. Nice little kitchen that."

"It's not a matter of him liking or disliking you, more a case of loving her" Ianto defended his cat "After all … you do ooze bad thoughts like freshly baked bread coming out of the oven."

Jack blinked as Rhys pointed at Ianto "That's it, that's the smell driving me mad. Italian bread, spicy and earthy it yeasty. All .. butter melting! That is the smell."

"sometimes it's like … ginger nut cookies" Ianto agreed, "When he's sweaty. I could lick him all over."

Jack slow blinked then snorted "Stop that! Teasing me!"

"Can't help it. You are so easy" Ianto replied with that soft smile Jack knew was real "Smelling all up in here like that!"

"Oh… I must waft!" Jack started a weird bouncing ballet style prancing round the Hub as Ianto rolled his eyes and made a show of holding his nose.

"Nope, not gonna get me that easy!" he said in a silly nasal voice "I will only lick for cream. Preferable whipped!"

Jack stopped prancing and placed his hands on his hip, "I can arrange that. Want it just on the six pack or …..all over!"

"Gods, you are naughty" Ianto laughed, the deep boom making everyone smile.

Jack was delighted as he remembered that can of instant whip in the fridge.

For afters!


	10. focus

Ianto was making the bed, not the lovely one back at his place. No. A guest one in the guest quarters, kneeling on it to tuck the sheet under the headboard and he knew before he turned around as Moses was waiting impatiently for him to finish so he could settle at the foot of it.

_Pervert!_

Ianto looked over his shoulder, his arse perfectly placed for Jack who was leering in the doorway with his eyebrows raised "Why Mister Jones, you look …. Delicious."

"Sir!" Ianto scolded clambering off to pull his shirt down and glare but Jack wasn't taking any notice, walking over and pulling Ianto close.

"I've missed you" Jack whispered, his face now the honest one Into knew so well and he allowed a kiss, tilting his head back and deepening it as Jack hugged him against him. Then Jack let his forehead rest against Ianto's "I've really missed this."

_Well, I am not watching this rutting thing your kind insist on all the time, you are not even on heat! Where is Owie!_

Moses stalked out the door and Ianto looked coyly at Jack, "Door?"

"What about the cat."

"Owen will snuggle with him" Ianto smiled softly, "Come on. I don't want an audience for this … after all … I see that can!"

Jack placed the whipped dream down and kissed Ianto again, then started to undress as Ianto rolled his eyes and walked over to close the door himself, then turned to fins Jack naked and on the bed already shaking the can.

"On the sheets?"

Ianto ceased shaking at the can and removed himself, went to the adjoining bathroom and returned with two large bath towels he carefully covered his side of the bed with, then resumed the naked display with shaking.

Ianto had stood silently watching the entire thing and he smiled softly, "you know something … you are lucky I am not lactose intolerant!"

Jack laughed softly as Ianto removed his clothing, the striptease definitely teasing as Ianto showed he knew what he was doing and by the time Ianto was licking his way up that hairless body Jack was panting.

The rutted like the wild animals they were, Ianto's' teeth and nails defiantly making Jack roar.

It was glorious.

.

.

.

.

"Owen?"

Ianto stood watching Owen on all fours 'helping' the cat with his breakfast, the fork being used to smash the softly boiled fish was one of the good ones for company. He hadn't been surprised to find them in the autopsy bay but really? The good cutlery? OK, so they had never actually had company but Ianto had them in case it ever happened, like … UNIT or something. Now the box of the pristine set sat torn on the table as Moses sat on the blanket Owen had placed there, the man crooning as he fed the cat. That fish had been for a fish pie too.

"Moe, you know … dead bodies lay on that!" Ianto said and Moses stopped chewing to turn and glare at him as Owen laughed softly.

"Don't listen sweetheart, you have your noms then a squish yeah?" Owen crooned. Ianto mentally warned Moses to ease up, the man was getting a bit manic.

_It's not me! He is really like this, I am not even talking to him this morning. Seriously!_

"Gods" Ianto muttered shaking his head, then he settled to listen to the messages on the answer phone and look at the internet feeds. Those blogs and conspiracy theory websites that help Torchwood keep track of the crazies as well as the real stories hidden. Also … Ianto liked to add his own at times and he knew whenever his posted under his name CoffeeKing007 is got immediate responses from those who saw him as their muse or some shit.

And it was kinda fun.

He read carefully as he looked at a grainy photo then sighed, calling softly "Jack? I mean …Sir? Look at this."

Jack wandered over to lean over Ianto and read the feed, yes. The Doctor was in full flight but not one Jack knew. His companions were not recognisable their and as Jack tried to remember which one is was Ianto snorted.

"This is the one who thinks he plays cricket, right? The bit of celery there a giveaway. Shit, this is an early one" Ianto sighed, "Best keep out of it."

"Well, as long as he gets it sorted I guess" Jack felt a strange relief that this was not the right Doctor to have approached anyway.

Ianto glanced at him like he knew and smiled softly "Well … what would you do if you could get that Tardis? Hmmmm? Go back and save someone? Stop what happened to you? What?"

Jack looked around and then leaned in close to whisper "I would go back to before I met you and do it better. Meet you sooner and love you soo….sooooooo much longer."

Ianto was stunned to silence as he stared at Jack who winked and turned on his heel to walk away. It was strange but it also felt … liberating.

Every word was true.

He didn't need the Doctor to tell him something that didn't matter now.

He had Ianto.

What a revelation.

Just gotta show Ianto that he meant every word.


	11. secrets and hidden reveals

"Well …. Its dissipating" Jack said happily, standing on the roof watching the strange sky colours drift out into the bay like someone was blowing the strange coloured clouds with a huge fan.

"So what now?" Ianro asked, standing behind him in a coat of his own that was similar to the Great Coat but a deep red. Ianto had been surprised by it but had allowed Jack to place it on him and was now glad of its warmth.

"We give it a couple of hours to warm up now the sun can get through … then we take a boat out for Moses like you promised. I know you are a man of your word" Jack smiled as he spun to face Ianto, "Picnic?"

Ianto felt a burst of excitement and swung to find Moses in the doorway with big eyes that would give Puss N Boots a run for his money. Images of fish came into Ianto's mind and he laughed softly as he shook his head and called him a terrible fluff, then went to sort some food.

"Whatcha doing?" Owen asked, Ianto immediately knowing Owen would love to come and he hesitated as he wanted Jack to himself but this is Ianto after all, never one to be greedy or selfish.

"Jack said we can take Moses out for a little cruise to see if he likes water" Ianto finally gave in and Owen gasped with glee.

"I have an idea on that we can try out there in the bay!" Owen gushed, then took off as Ianto looked up to see Jack looking down with a look he knew. Soft annoyance. He shrugged, what more could he do?

"I wanted it to be us!" Jack huffed as he leaned against the counter watching Ianto make sandwiches, his stomp into the kitchen not needing trumpets as his pout came in first.

"Think of the day though, wearing me out and making me all …. Hungry" Ianto crooned, "I love the smell out there … when we get back I might want a hot shower and … well. You can wash my back!"

Jack smiled, "You would be a lovely Taddy."

"Don't be silly" Ianto turned back to the sink "In this line of work?"

"Why not? You could make it work if anyone can!" Jack defended "You are Mister Cool!"

"Mister Cool!" Ianto repeated but Jack saw the amusement as Ianto pretended to huff.

"Look at Moses. You've had him a while and managed not to sit on him or anything!" Jack pointed out.

_Like you did?_

Ianto turned to look at Moses as Jack stood with his mouth open to speak, a finger raised to make a point and he slowly blinked and looked at the cat.

"Excuse me?"

_You sat on me!_

"I did not!" Jack retorted angrily, 'I've not sat on you! I did sit on the one she had when …. Well. Gods, you guys really keep a grudge going!"

"Jack?" Ianto said softly.

"Sorry … sorry." Jack looked mortified, "Ah … look. You know I am a bit …. Special right? I can telepathically communicate with some things and …"

_I AM NOT A FUICKING THING!_

"Language" Ianto hissed, then schooled his features as Jack turned to Moses.

"OK, Ianto doesn't fully understand things OK? He knows I am from another place, he knows I am …. Special" Jack struggled to explain it to the cat that had never liked him … none of them had.

_Special needs?_

"Moses that's enough!" Ianto snapped "Did I make fun of you when you hooked up with that Siamese thing that time? You were…what…. Six? Even then I told you she was a cow but you liked her singing voice. Right? Did I support you?"

Moses sat and looked at Ianto as he considered his answer, finally seeing that he might be pushing things.

Jack was standing bolt upright staring at Ianto, then his face changed as he looked at Moses again, "He can hear you too."

"Of course I can!" Ianto barked, "So can Owen. He's a Felinealiod in cat form, for the love of gods!"

Jack blinked slowly, "I thought … I thought you were playing with Owen."

"Jack. Cariad. Moses is an alien entity that can communicate telepathically and has been on this planet for … probably longer than you!" Ianto said slowly "He is still considered young by the standards of our kind."

"So … that cat I first met when I courted Estelle …."

_Chocolates and those stocking things she yelled about when I got my claws stuck in them. Yes._

"Well. How about them apples" Jack said with wonder, "I … I never met one."

"Of course you have!" Ianto sighed as he pushed off from the sink and went over to scoop up his cat "What do you think that thing of Archie's is that wears the stupid hat in all his communications? An avatar?"

"NO!" Jack gasped, "That wrinkly old thing is …is… ancient!"

"Yes. A true blood" Ianto nodded, "Not many left. The ability to actually shape shift into any from, not limited to feline."

"Huh!" Jack grunted, then grinned, "And you said there were no more secrets."

"Oh come now Cariad" Ianto fluttered his eyelashes and Jack found himself smiling softly as Ianto stepped in close to whisper "A girl is nothing without her …. Secrets!"

Jack roared with mirth as he watched Ianto stalk off, Moses peering back over his shoulder with an air of disinterest.

_And you call me cheeky!_


	12. shrugs

Moses loved the water.

Jack was currently sitting in the captain's chair at the helm of the Sea Queen III, the sweet ride that was more like a pleasure yacht than a simple boat and he could see Ianto on the roof of the cabin, drinking in the sun on his back, his arms thrown back as he sun worshipped with Moses.

Jack was silently going back over the comments made earlier and as he puttered to a nice spot to anchor it suddenly hit him what Ianto had been saying. He had … hang on.

"Yan?"

Ianto hummed, stretching as he rolled onto his side, propping his head up on an arm to smile at Jack who forgot his question for a moment as he looked at the stunning creature. "Yes Cariad?"

"Ianto … are you human?"

Owen looked up from the fishing line he was untangling to give Jack a mouthful but froze as a low chuckle came from the cat who then looked out over the water.

"Now, now asking such things, like asking a lady her age" Ianto snorted, playful and not the least bit insulted with such a question as Jack had been afraid me might be.

"Ianto. How did you get Moses?"

Ianto's' eyes were dancing and Jack knew. He knew. "Oh Tiger! You bloody minx"

Ianto snorted, rolling back onto his back to sun some more and Moses looked at the one who was clueless to what was happening.

_Ianto has known me my entire life, as I have known him. He was there when I was born, welcomed me into this world, feeble little castling that I am. Not a pure blood like him. Ianto is of the ancients. An original._

"I am …ah….. elventy five … hundred? I don't know. Time means nothing when it moves as mine does" Ianto snorted. "I was never a child in her eyes. How could I be … Aunt Estelle. She was the child I cuddled and nurtured even though she was more human than anything else. I think why, in the end the Mara turned on her. I did warn her. They are fickle creatures, as fickle as us."

"I am hundreds of years old too" Jack said softly, "Immortal."

"A hard word that" Ianto agreed. "Like … an inescapable illness. Immortality. Only those of us who get the touch of something are deemed worthy of that and yet it feels so …. Heavy."

"How … how long have you been on earth?"

"Longer than you!"

_I was born here so I don't know if I count in this._

"You always count little great nephew" Ianto crooned lovingly, "Sweetling. Of course you do!"

"Estelle aged naturally." Jack considered out loud "She was not … touched?"

"No. Too human. I fear most of my siblings bred to excitedly, their own children joining in as they enjoyed the flesh of the humans, their warmth and comfort. Loving ways. The blood is so diluted now that some are born without any knowledge of their own origins." Ianto lamented "That cottage has been in my family for … four hundred years. Built on a little patch of grassy field. The city sort of grew around it like ivy does."

"Time" Jack agreed sagely "Wait … Ianto. Are you … are you immortal?"

"Mehaps I am, mehaps I ain't" Ianto said in a strange accent then laughed "I don't know. Haven't died yet."

Jack smiled as Owen stood and gaped "Hang on a mo. Are you telling me you are a fucking alien related to Moses?"

Ianto didn't answer as Moses snuggled in and Jack did instead "hundreds of years ago the Felinealiod race came here, a course correction in their flight computer that had been miscalculated. They liked it. Ancient Egypt where they were revered and treated like gods. OF course they did. Over the years, more have arrived and those already here interbred with us. Also with moggies."

"Bestiality in a weird sort of way!" Owen frowned.

_Excuse me? Who are you calling a beast ya little …_

"Moses, it's a term" Ianto laughed "Used to describe a human and animal sex act."

_Oh_

"Some get caught in one form" Ianto explained, "Either they stay in it too long or prefer it and simply do not change back. Cats are a fun one to be, they feel … sexy. Only in cat form would one of us join another cat. Usually if we are beginning to think we are one."

_What he said._

"Oh"

_This is not catching me a fish!_

"Right" Owen swung the line over the side and hitched up his pants, "Watch this Moe. I will get you a fishie!"

Jack clambered up to lay next to Ianto and he looked into those eyes which were not really grey. When you got really close there was the palest green tinge in them, like a wash. "Hi."

"hi"

The kiss was warm and Ianto tasted of the sun.

And forever.


	13. comfotable

They returned triumphant, Owen carrying the string of three doomed fish, the fourth already consumed by a fat and burpy cat currently being carried in Ianto's arms as Ianto scolds.

"I think he needs a snooze to sleep some of that fish off" Jack said as he took the cat and held him gently, "Come on fluffers. I will pop you on the bed, yeah?"

Jack walked off and Owen turned to Ianto "Look mate. I don't understand that weird conversation you two were having out there but did it help?"

"Yes Owen" Ianto said with gentle affection "Jack and I needed to clear the air and where better to than out there on the water. I am glad you were there, Moses really enjoyed today with you, as did I."

"So … immortal?"

"Honestly don't know. Might be. Might not. We do not truly know until our first fall."

"Fall?"

"Yes, to see if we land on our feet or in a grave" Ianto nodded and Owen smiled as he finally got the old saying of someone landing on their feet.

"So ... the angry thing between you?"

"I think that has dissipated now. We were both afraid of our feelings. We now see that it was juvenile at our age to be so caught up with such things. He makes me happy, I should allow that happiness to exist without questioning it all the time. I forgot myself. I am a true Felinealiod. We are supposed to crave affection and welcome all of it, not feel unworthy of attention. Jack is reminding me in his own way that … it's OK." Ianto drew Owen into a gentle hug "And you smell of fish!"

"Yes, Moses said I smelt like Christmas" Owen laughed "weirdo."

"I always get him fresh fish at Christmas, it's his favourite" Ianto laughed and Owen snorted with amusement.

"Come on, I will cut these up and … how best to do them?" Owen frowned.

"If you freeze them in chucks … no bones … then you can microwave them. They flake with a fork and you can check for bones again then give it to him just like that" Ianto suggested, "Maybe … once a week he gets a fishy treat from you?"

"Yeah. Bones are bad" Owen agreed as he scuttled off and Jack returned sans cat.

"He's asleep?"

"Snoring" Jack grinned, "and you?"

Ianto let Jack pull him in close, smelling the salty air in his hair as they embraced "Honestly? I'm hungry."

"Yeah? Wanna go somewhere nice?" Jack smiled softly, stroking Ianto's hair and as he watched Ianto's eyes slide shut to enjoy the petting he realised Ianto had always done this. How could he have missed this?

"I think I was promised a hot shower" Ianto said after a while "maybe we should facilitate that sir?"

"How about you go start it and I will get some fresh towels. You get the clothes as you do not trust me with socks. I know you have worries about my pairing abilities" Jack played and Ianto laughed as he hoped he would, a kiss before Ianto stepped back.

"The usual?"

"Actually … no. In the left-hand side of my wardrobe is a suit bag. Get that. We will both wear suits and I will make reservations now!" Jack stepped away and Ianto opened his eyes with surprise as he realised Jack was taking him out for a meal. Like … a couple? Eh?

Oh.

Ianto skipped off to the shower black and he was soon adjusting the water for the heat he knows Jack prefers then he turned to find Jack behind him.

Naked.

Oh my.

It was luxurious, the way Jack stroked and rubbed, the slippy-sliddy way his hands moved across Ianto's' back and shoulders, the kisses and soft breath … he had never been this sensual before. Never been this attentive and Ianto felt like he was floating, his soft cries of pleasure spurring Jack on as they both had some water fun.

After they dried and dressed, Jack led him up to find Moses awake on the sofa with Owen watching something on a tablet. They were both laughing now and then, so something childish no doubt.

"Me and Ianto are going out, behave" Jack called and Owen raised a hand to wave lazily before laughing with Moses some more.

Ianto let Jack open doors even if he was not the girl! He let Jack take his coat, pull out his chair and even choose the wine. He was excited when Jack silently looked at him to choose their mains. He chose carefully, knowing Jack's love of steak and a nice pasta dish for himself so Jack could steal a few bites. He also chose chocolate delight as the desert and Jack made a noise of glee, showing he wanted that too.

When it came time for the bill Jack slipped the card to Ianto and rose to use the loo, letting Ianto be the one to pay.

Strange but … that felt nice too.

Ianto had never been so…..

Comfortable.


	14. excuse you!

Moses was sniffing the shoes with a look of disgust and Ianto looked at them with surprise "Where did these come from?"

_I don't know_

Ianto rose from the cat carrier he had just released Moses from and looked around the house. These shoes were not his. They were not even polished for goodness sake and he pulled his sidearm as he began checking the rooms, Moses heading back into his carrier he had only just vacated.

Ianto reached the main room's doorway and stopped, scenting the air as he felt something in the bottom of hi gut, whirling to strike out. He struck the man in the jaw, sending him flying into the wall and the second man fired off a warning shot that did not have the desired effect.

Kitty was ready to play with this red dot.

Ianto never made a sound, the entire thing in silence as he stepped forward and swung, the man staggering back as he bounced off furniture and walls, Ianto calmly swatting at him as if he were a fly and the gun was long gone as Ianto finally tired of the game and seized the man by his shirt front, head butting him.

He had forgotten about the first one.

The shot was loud after the silent display and Ianto grunted with surprise as he felt the bite to his shoulder, turning slowly with his mouth open, displaying his teeth.

The man faltered, the gun wavering as Moses screeched and latched onto his arse, the leap of faith impressive.

Now Ianto was beyond enraged as he saw his little man defend and with a huff of indignation he took only two steps to cross the entire room, almost floating through the air with an animalistic grace to seize the man and lift him by his throat until his head connected with the ceiling … maybe a few times.

Ianto made sure Moses has disengaged before dropping the man, not wanting to accidentally harm the little guy, then he crouched and started patting down the two unconscious men. UNIT, naturally.

He found the earwig that one had lost, popping it in to hear the voices still clambering to understand the weird noises their end.

" **Do you think it was him?"**

" **Shamus, sound off! Did you get him? Shamus, if you cannot break silence give two taps, remember your instructions ya moron."**

Ianto tapped the earwig twice, also pulling his phone from his pocket and tapping something else sure to get a response. He then settled into a kitchen chair with a nice cup of coffee to wait for the extraction team.

And the hit squad.

You know … in that black SUV with a sweet little man hanging out the window screaming with rage while Gwen tries to pull him back in, Jack ignoring them all while he grinds his teeth. Tosh in the back seat strapped in as she works as if she is not being tossed about like a salad.

That one.

_Interesting times._

Ianto nodded his agreement to the cat who now sat primly on the chest of the hallway prey, licking his foot with that distracted nonchalance only a feline can possess.

" **Shamus, we are on you."**

Ianto turned to watch the door open and four enter, pausing as they looked at the mess and the two men laying prone on the floor.

"They are not dead …just …. In stasis. I might release them … if I want to" Ianto informed the one who did not look, but stared directly at him. "I suggest you take a seat and we discuss things. Ah. Here he is now."

Finally the man spoke "He?"

"Captain Harkness of course" Ianto smiled sweetly, "You didn't think I would have a party without the main entertainment, did you"

"Ianto's parties are always to die for" Jack said was he seemed to fly into the house, the Great Coat filing the hallway like it was twice its size and Ianto felt a flowing of warmth entering with it.

"I was just saying … ah … Moses, not nice. He might need that!" Ianto said as the cat paused it's claw sharpening stretch and looked at the crotch it was using, then grunted as Owen bounced in and picked him up for a health check and cuddle.

"Are you OK sweets? Did the big ugly men get stinky breath in here? Awwww, poor little man. Come on, we will go to the garden and play with their laser sights, yeah?"

Jack pulled out a chair and sat, grinning at the man "Hamish. Hello there old man. Thought you had been retired after you blew that bus up on Honduras. Well, well, well. According to scuttlebutt you are a bit …well … hot potato at the moment. UNIT are disavowing all knowledge of this exercise."

"Pity" Ianto said blandly to Jack like they were having a private conversation, "had they leverage I may have considered arguing their case but it seems they have nothing to bring to the table."

"Literally" Jack smiled.

"Ah. Well. Eeny, Meeny or Moe?" Ianto asked.

Jack raised his eyebrows and Ianto pointed to the two prone men on the floor, then Hamish, "Eeny, Meeny or Moe?"

"Oh. Ah….." Jack closed his eyes and place a hand over them, pointing with the other.

"Meeny it is" Ianto nodded, "Fine. He is forfeit."

The world seemed to slow as it happened.

Gwen and Tosh instinctively flattened themselves against a wall as the Mata entered with a swirl of leaves and rose petals, seizing the one Ianto pointed at and dragging him from the house, his screams as he roused to find hell approaching muted.

Time resumed and what had been seen by Ianto in normal time was as if fast forwarded at x30 by those around him, the man called Hamish leaping from his chair with a bark if horror.

"Next?" Ianto asked sweetly "They might still be hungry."

Hamish stared at Ianto, then slid back into the chair.

Jack smiled softly as he settled back to listen to what the hell was happening here.

.

.

.

.

No. He had not noticed. It would be later that Jack notices blood for the first time and sees that Ianto was shot.


	15. Jack sees

"First of all" Ianto began "Those things out there are called Mara. You might know them as fairies but don't let them fool you … they are deadly. The killed the woman who lived here because she broke a rule. They are now tearing one of your men apart for a similar reason. This is their house. Their patch. An ancient and important spot. The caretaker of this spot has a certain responsibility to the place, the Mara and to the rites. You have invaded this place. Your punishment is the loss of your man. If you do not tell us … honestly … and they will know if you lie … while you are here I cannot protect you."

Jack remained silent, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as he felt something rush past and he knew a Mara sat on his let boot. It was strange and extremely alarming as he could not see it, but felt the presence of it.

"I Would wonder why you are here, ask a lot of useless questions but I know there is no need for that" Ianto watched Moses scent the air, then the image of a fishhead had him clearing his throat "I wonder if it has something to do with some blowfish? I think you are biting off more than you can chew."

"Look, I didn't want a problem, just a word or two" Hamish said with sudden clarity that he was in deep shit that kept getting deeper.

"I see" Ianto said blandly, "So … you shot me for … what. To get my attention?"

Jack's head slowly swivelled to stare at Ianto, finally noticing the dark sleeve of his jacket was glisteningly wet. He reached out and touched it, Ianto's grunt of pain making him draw his hand back to stare at his bloody hand.

Then it all moved fast again, this time without Mara interaction as Jack seized Hamish's hair and started to slam his head into the table at breakneck speed, his fingered carded through the man's hair much as Jack's usually did through his lover's fine locks but there was no affection this clasp as Jack snarled.

Ianto was stunned for a moment, then managed to reach out, placing his hand on Jack's arm, "Cariad."

Ianto spoke softly but it filtered through the red haze, Jack releasing the man who slithered from his chair to the floor, laying there stunned.

"Well now, that was a bit … angry" Owen said from the doorway where he had watched the entire thing since releasing Moses.

"Ianto is shot" Jack said in defence of his actions.

Owen's smile faded as he rushed to check Ianto over "Are you Ok?"

"Did you not hear Jack? I've been shot ya divvy!" Ianto snorted with open mirth. "I'm peachy!"

Owen started pulling gently at his clothing ns was soon looking at the shoulder 'bite' with a soft muter of anger. "Not too deep, hit the bone and sort of bounced ….skipped along it. I can feel it here under the flesh…"

"AWCHHHHH!" Ianto yelped as Owen manipulated the bullet and Jack slapped him away from Ianto.

"Don't hurt him"

"Excuse me! I am not the one who shot him. You want me to cut into the muscle here or ease the bullet back to here where I can cut it out without too much impact on his bloody range of motion?" Owen asked in a syrupy sweet voice.

"Well … I didn't mean don't fix him but … do you have to be so damned rough?" Jack snarled.

"Ah…. Yeah!"

"Stop it, both of you and get the damned thing out before I dig about with a blade me own self!" Ianto was fed up now, glaring at Hamish who had gone ominously quiet, his gaze taken with the big fluffy cat now sitting on the table staring him down. "Moses, don't. We still have to …"

"Wow" Hamish sighed. "Like … wow"

"….talk to him" Ianto sighed as well, giving up as Moses had his own conversation with the man who seemed in a trance.

"What's he doing?" Owen asked, glancing at the display.

"Gleaning" Ianto replied, "He is gaining what knowledge he seeks and then he will release him."

"Does he remember?"

Ianto stopped watching Owen's hands to make eye contact. "Owen … he releases him as in … lets him go. Leave …ah. Well."

Owen frowned as he looked at Ianto.

"He is trying to tell you that he is going to kill him" Jack supplied, "for hurting Ianto … he will kill him"

Owen seemed to consider then shrugged.

"Good. Not out kind of people anyway" Owen finally said.

"Agreed" Jack leaned back and opened his phone to call some 'people' who would be interested to learn UNIT were off HER radar and stomping in HER mud puddle.

Two can play hard ball!


	16. another word for kitty?

Jack was torn between wanting to fuss on Ianto and wanting to give him space so he settled for cleaning. Now a little known fact about our Captain Harkness is that he is in fact a neat freak like Ianto, all those years living in a small space makes you uncluttered.

He was still unbelievably angered that Ianto was hurt, even if Ianto said it was OK and Owen had patched him up declaring it a clean shot … still. Jack wished he could kill the one who did that … again.

"Hey Moses" he said softly as he felt pressure on his foot and he looked down at the cat who was standing on his foot with a bored expression, "Is he OK?"

_Tired_

"Yeah I know. Will not admit it though, so stubborn and does not like to admit a weakness."

_I mean you_

Jack snorted softly, looking at the cat again and nodding, crouching to address him at a more intimate level "I don't sleep much. When you have lived for hundreds of years the memories ... the ghosts wander about in your head like blowflies in the summer. Ya know?"

_Yes. Unfortunately_

"I … when I am with Ianto I can sleep. Really sleep." Jack admitted.

_As does he_

"Right. Point taken" Jack smiled as he rose and went over to where Ianto was staring angrily at the patch of carpet he had the bed on like it was the carpet's fault.

"Ianto? Look, it's been a long shitty day and I am exhausted. Would you lay with me for a while? Help me rest?" Jack asked plaintively and Owen lopked at him with surprise, knowing Jack didn't sleep much then he realised what Jack was doing and nodded.

"Right, I am out of here" Owen made a show of packing up and storming off with mutterings about samples still in the machine.

Ianto walked through with Jack and they settled on the bed, Moses with them as he purred soothingly. Finally, Ianto stated to relax and so did Jack. As they drifted off Moses tried to send loving thoughts, kind ones and the images of mice dancing in a meadow of long grass and wild flowers had them all smiling at the cat's simple description of a possible heaven.

..

.

.

.

Ianto woke to the smell of food and realised he was hungry. Really hungry. He rose and padded out to find Moses on the table, his face showing his shock at getting caught in a 'no bum zone' but he recovered it well with a yawn.

"Nice teeth" Ianto said conversationally as he sat in his chair and Jack swung round, his grin splitting his face as he waggled his eyebrows.

"hungry Tiger?"

"Raging hunger. Might have to chew your leg off if ya don't hurry" Ianto agreed and Jack grinned wider at the playful way Ianto was shaking off the previous low point.

"I got a call from UNIT while you were recharging your batteries" Jack said as he placed a large plate of food down "apparently they would like a little sit down pow-wow at the palace"

"They want it."

"Well … apparently … they got a crazy idea that we should" Jack snorted, both of them knowing Her Majesty was demanding an audience.

"Well … I don't have a single thing to wear" Ianto huffed in a silly voice and Jack sniggered softly as Moses blinked slowly, not understanding the sarcasm.

_You have enough suits to clothe yourself_

Jack looked at the cat as he slow blinked at them both, then said calmly "But he is so nice unclothed Moses old man."

_You smooth skins are weird_

"Aw, come on. You know… Ianto is not exactly a Smooth Skin" Jack sighed wistfully, thinking of that fuzzy chest and Moses snorted as he rose and stretched.

_Of course not. He is a Fuzzer_

Jacks blinked as Ianto gave a grunt of horror, "Moses!"

"A… Fuzzer" Jack said slowly "Ah. I love it!"

Ianto glared at the cat who …. In true cat fashion did not give a rat's arse.

_It is what we call our younglings who prefer to run about in a Skinner Form, those still able to shift_

Jack pated himself "I'm a Skinner?"

"Another word for a Smooth Skin" Ianto explained with a frown, "He is being a prat. Ignore him. Moses, stop it ya donut!"

Moses rose and wandered off as Jack considered the conversation then turned to Ianto "Tiger? A Skinner is a Smooth Skin … so a Fuzzer is a…?"

Ianto sighed "Felinealiod nickname for a youngling. Like a kitten."

Jack grinned "So cute. He thinks of you as a kitten."

_Especially as he is SOOO much older than me._

Ianto turned to glare as Moses grinned happily, his whiskers meeting like they were clapping.

_Sorry Great Uncle_

Jack reached out to stroke Ianto's cheek "My very own Fuzzer."

Ianto blushed.


	17. little sprout

Owen was excited to be going, Moses happy to remain back at base with the girls. Seems Gwen was warming to the idea of a mascot, something that Ianto had been annoyed about as he pointed out they did have a weevil and a Myfanwy for the love of chocolate and coffee beans. He ignored Moses whispering that maybe Owen was the true mascot, funny little man.

As they neared the palace Jack slowed the SUV, then pulled into a park, turning to address the one in the back seat "Now listen here. Be nice. Be polite and no nutting anyone. It's the bloody palace, OK? And no foul language. If you say one cuss word AT ALL I will have Ianto take Moses home for a WEEK!"

Owen's eyes bugged out as he puffed his cheeks, looking like some constipated chipmunk, then he nodded.

They entered to find UNIT already being processed, soldiers calmly patting them down and removing their weaponry. Jack breezed past with a merry wave as Ianto paused to hand over his side arm with a polite smile, the guard accepting it smiling back with a familiar wink.

"Why do they not get frisked as well!" the General barked, slapping at the man's hands.

"Because they are exempt" came the bored reply, "those already vetted by Her Majesty and deemed in her employ do not have to be checked."

Owen resisted the urge to poke tongues, settling for a backwards walk with a shit eating grin, then swinging forward to run and catch up to Jack and Ianto. A naughty little boy running to hide with his parentals. Ianto smiled softly to himself as he saw what a precocious little shite he must have been as a child.

"Uncle Jack!" a voice far stronger than expected called out and Jack lit up as the queen motored towards them, slightly bent forward but more agile than one might think, her face full of delight.

"Ah my Brussels Sprout!" Jack crooned back and she laughed slapping at him.

"Pardon?" Owen asked with confusion.

"My dear boy. First of all, one does not ask us for a pardon. It is a royal decree to issue one, secondly … our lovely husband calls us Cabbage as an endearment sometimes and Uncle Jack here once heard … now makes fun of it!" she snorted.

"Well … actually he called you that. Not 'US' because as I recall he called me … what was it? A Flirty Young Stallion" Jack replied and the queen laughed as she slapped gently at his arm.

"Stop that!"

"They are almost done with security sweetheart" Jack warned and she waved them to some chairs.

"I will be strict and to the point, please do not interrupt or do that snarky thing you do. If I laugh it will be ruined" she hissed, suddenly so …real … then she settled back and her face changed to the regal one Ianto knew.

The doors opened and the men came stomping in, the only female UNIT member struggling under all the jackets and files. Ianto bristled as he saw this, rising to help her and the General went to take his seat.

"That's MY man's seat. Best you not sit there" Jack said with a soft smile "I might goose you by mistake … I have wandering hands when bored you know."

With a look of horror the man moved and Ianto retuned with the woman, settling back in the chair, then looking at the file still in his hand, considering and placing it down under the seat with a bored expression that was not lost on Jack.

He wondered what Ianto had just stolen so openly and decided it could wait, grinning at the man now gushing to the queen as she gave the stony glare of one not amused.

"Look, Your majesty … this was just a misunderstanding" the General said in his most patronising tone "The Torchwood Director here fails to recognise…"

"Captain" she corrected gently, "He is my Captain."

Silence as she sits back and nods for him to resume, his face showing his alarm as she used a first person reference, then he continues "Perhaps the mode of interception was not … as smart as it may have been given the circumstances but we …."

"Oh yeah you're smart ….sesame street smart" Owen couldn't help it, the muttering louder than he anticipated and he grimaced as Ianto glanced over at him with a warning frown.

"General. The Captain here works directly for the crown. This one. On this head" she pointed "Technically, he is of higher rank than you even if we wish to use such terms as Captain or General or Bombardier or my personal favourite the ancient one … King's Hand."

"Stop it" Ianto's hiss was soft and almost parental as he looked at her in such a way that there was no doubt in the loving scold "Behave."

"Well. The point is …" she smiled softly at him, then turned back to the man now frozen with confusion "If you must go stomping all through my favourite garden … do mind the wildlife. Some more exotic creatures hiding in the foliage may bite."

"Ma'am …"

"In this instance, we think it best you call us …. Majesty." She said calmly, "you do not know us well enough to judge when it is appropriate to speak to us in a familiar tone. Perhaps if you are living as long as these two, you will gain the affections of your ruler .. .but then … they are both older than all us ... Combined. Perhaps, you will not."

Owen snorted, and mimed dropping a mic, then pulled his arm in as Ianto again glanced over at him.

It was too epic not to.


	18. cat out of the bag

"well?" Gwen demanded as they stepped off the stone and Owen exploded, telling the girls of the Queen's hairdo, her crown, the conversation, his mic drop motion and then he took a deep breath and ended it by saying "And as we left … the queen … I swear to god … she patted Ianto's' arse!"

"It was a love pat" Ianto sighed, rolling his eyes, "She likes my kind. What can I say."

"Well, the Welsh do seem to have a soft spot in her heart but really? I bet she doesn't go around patting all of you on the butt!" Owen snorted.

_She pats mine occasionally too but she does like Ianto's more. In Cat form he is huge!_

Ianto blinked then slowly, like in slow motion turned to glare at the cat.

"Cat…. Cat form? What? Cat form?" Owen spluttered as Tosh and Gwen watched him with confusion, Owen then looking at Ianto "Did he say you can go into a cat?"

Ianto looked at Owen blandly, "first of all .. consider that question. I would never "GO" into a cat. That is unnatural. Secondly … it is none of your damned business if one of the forms I choose to be is catlike!"

"Catlike" Owen repeated, "So … your kind can be like… cats but not? Not like Moses? Eh?"

"Owen, enough" Jack said in warning as he saw Gwen's eyes start to widen, the cat out of the bag if ya pardon the pun.

Ianto caught it too "Yes Gwen. I am an Alien, just like Moses here. Well … more than him, he is like … part Felinealiod .. ah .. an eighth maybe and I am … more. I can take on other forms, like a shape-shifter but we do like Cats. Cat forms are pleasant and match our personalities."

"A cat" Tosh spoke "That makes so much sense. The way you wraith, he way you smell everything before you eat it … don't blink. Of course! Oh my god, why did I not see it? That day you were throwing the ball into the air … of course."

Gwen was stuck on the earlier part … "Wait. Moses is an alien?"

Owen sighed and stepped forward, his face that of a bored teacher talking to a slow student "Moses is an ancient line of aliens, they have lived on earth for millennia. Probably as long as those fucking Mara. They like …. Are cats. Ya know? Meow?"

Gwen stared, then looked at Ianto, "but he's a human!"

"No. He's a Ianto" Jack finished the conversation for them "Same as I am a Jack. You don't look at me and think … Alien form another entire universe or whatever … do you?"

Gwen stared at him, Ianto so unbelievably touched that he would defend him like that. He knew Jack hated showing any Boeshanninan side.

"Anyway" Ianto said as calmly as he could "Gwen is not pure human either. Somewhere in the ethos of her bloodline there is a touch of Hallsinger. I smelt it the first time we met, it's stronger in the rain."

"What's that?"

"A dog breed" Ianto said and Owen stared, then started to giggle, his hand going to his mouth as she gaped.

"Really?" she asked "You can tell that?"

"Yes. Seems to be on the female side" he said with a slow blink and she frowned, then muttered about DNA, shooting off to check with her mother about the old family tree her mother had in a book at home.

"Now that … was nasty!" Owen chortled, "You just called her a bitch and she didn't even catch it!"

"Nope, but it's distracted her" Ianto smiled "And I was not totally lying. In her past bloodline there is a bit of Hallsinger. It's an old Welsh Clan. Her mother is descended from them. They were mountain people. Have a certain way about them …. Smell of wet dog, as well as that gap in their teeth."

"But human" Owen asked.

"Are any of us? Owen think about it … where did you come from? Do you believe God made you? Or a frog decided to walk the …. OK. Bad choice" Ianto frowned and Toshiko started to giggle as Owen frowned.

Look … all I am saying is… I think all life came from somewhere. Some evolved, some arrived and maybe some was simply visiting and left a few … tokens of love behind" Ianto shrugged.

"I need to think about this" Gwen sighed as she rubbed her face, returning with her phone still in her hand "The family bible does have Hallsinger written in it back in the eighteenth century. Oh my god!"

"Gwen. You are Gwen. No matter the past, where the names are or what they say. You are the same woman you were this time yesterday and tomorrow you will still be Gwen" Ianto said gently, "All I need to know. You are my friend."

Gwen beamed as she hugged him, so relieved that it never occurred to her that her own concerns had been placed back on her.

Clever bastard that Ianto.

Owen considered another mic drop.


	19. squeal like a kitty?

Owen didn't know how it happened, it was purely an accident … honest. One minute he was playing with a piece of tat, the next thing the entire Hub was totally destroyed with him sitting in the middle of the chaos in his chair with an open mouth. A small metal box with buttons that was covered in muck from the bottom of the bay, brought up in a net and spied by yours truly sitting on the table behind the fish monger as he stood purchasing Janet's treat. She likes Salmon ya know. He hadn't until he got it for Moses and wondered why she perked up when he walked past. So … now he gave Moses a nice cut and the rest to the eager weevil who hummed as she licked its scales off with a look of total joy like a kid with a lolly.

He had spent most of the morning cleaning it with cotton buds and alcohol rub, making it shine. IT was a good find, a good addition to his desk full of shit and it never occurred to him that after the length of time spent in the water that it might still go. I mean … it was a little piece of tat. Probably a toy or something, right?

It was while he was scrubbing a part of it that a button depressed and Owen grunted as he turned it to examine the button and the weird marking about it that looked remarkably like little cat's paw prints.

So cute. Must show Moses.

The Owen detected a small noise starting to build … a small whistle like a teapot coming to the boil.

Huh!

Then … up top in the main Hub there was A LOT OF NOISE and commotion that had him flabbergasted. Who would have thought, Ianto would react like that to the noise that seemed like a soft whistle. Apparently it had caused some reaction beyond Owen's wildest dreams as Ianto screamed, roared and slammed about with his hands over his ears. Owen had been rendered shock still with wide eyes as he watched Ianto's dance of doom.

Of course Moses doing a miniature version was actually kind of funny, not that he laughed. He might have slapped his hand over his mouth quickly but …he….did….not….laugh!

After a moment of clarity Owen pressed the button again, silencing the little box and Ianto froze as did Moses, like the statue game. Jack came pounding down from his office with a look of horror "what the hell was that? Ianto? Are you ok?"

Ianto blinked and stared at him, then frowned and stuck a finger in an ear, waggling it then staring at him some more.

"Ianto?" Jack said slowly "Can you hear me love?"

Ianto's face went dark as he turned to glare at Owen and Jack groaned.

"Owen that was a stock worrier. It was designed to move large herds of Warritols who have sensitive ears. To Ianto and his kind they are dangerous if set to Warritol strength. Kitty strength is half that … there is a lever somewhere for the frequency strength" Jack snatched the toy and turned it over then sighed "…..ah…..shit…. I think you've deafened him for a moment or two."

"I didn't do it deliberately. So … not permanent, it will wear off?" Owen asked. "So… he can't hear me call him a tight arsed twat?"

"I can lip read you douche!" Ianto replied calmly as Owen blinked, then started to snigger, turning away from Ianto so he wouldn't know.

"I will hit him in a minute" Ianto said far too loudly "Fucker is laughing, I know he is from the shaking shoulders."

Jack pulled Ianto away and Owen turned to look down at the cat.

"What about you, your hearing OK?"

_WHAT?_

Owen knew it was bad, like … a really bad thing to do but he couldn't help but laugh now as the cat screwed his face up and next thing ya know Moses was doing a pretty good impression of one of Ripley's Face Huggers as Owen screamed and blundered about causing more damage.

"Owen!" Tosh snapped "Cut it the hell out and stop upsetting Moses!"

"What are you doing to that poor little cat!" Gwen was appalled as she rushed to 'rescue' Moses and she clutched the moggy to her breasts as she glared at Owen, "you little shit! What did you do to upset him. Moses is such a sweetie!"

Owen gaped as the cat blinked slowly, and then nuzzled into her bosoms with glee.

"Owen, I suggest you go find something to do in your hole where Ianto is less likely to throw something at you as he will not want to clean the white tiles" Tosh suggested and Owen agreed as Jack's office door slammed open and Ianto started to storm out.

As he headed down he muttered to himself "Was pretty funny though."

Ianto made a noise and Owen moved faster for his little sanctuary.

Just in case.


	20. licking wounds

20

Jack knew Ianto was still angry about the whole thing and suggested they make it an early day, Ianto scooping Moses up as he agreed and they headed home to the cottage where Ianto immediately seemed to calm.

"Go have a bath and de-stress while I sort some comfort food" Jack suggested and Ianto grunted as he stomped off with a soft frown. Gods, Owen had really stuffed up.

Moses didn't care, having shrugged it off like cats sometimes do and he was currently cleaning himself by the fire Jack had lit, Ianto in the bathtub still stewing. Moses was now at the slightly amused stage, wondering what Owen would do to apologise and hoping there was tuna involved, or better still … that BBQ chicken he had shared one time in his lunch. Moses had liked that, maybe he should suggest he was hungry for some and milk this for as long as he could.

Speaking of stew, Jack made some and placed a spoonful to cool on the side in Moses' favourite bowl. He then plated the rest with toast as Ianto stomped down the hallway from the bathroom with still wet hair and pink kissable skin, and entered the kitchen with his nose twitching in a feline way "Stew?"

"Stew" Jack confirmed, keeping their talk to one syllable words until Ianto was ready for more. His hearing was coming back and now an annoying ringing had the corner of his eye twitching. Owen had really outdone himself this time, hadn't he?

After they ate Ianto moved to the other room where Moses sat licking his long whiskers as he complimented Jack on the wonderful choice and Ianto nodded his agreement. Jack waited and knew sooner or later Ianto would speak.

"I want a holiday."

OK, hadn't expected that. "What sort of holiday Tiger?"

"A bed and food sort. I want to sleep in, snuggle in and eat in" Ianto pondered "and binge watch some box sets or something."

"OK, do they have a name for that?"

"A Staycation" Ianto was pouting now "Instead of going away you stay home and party like it's a private villa or something."

"Oh, is that right?" Jack smiled softly as he let his fingers slide through the wet curls forming and Ianto closed his eyes, canting his head into Jack's palm. Such a cat-like thing to do that Jack leaned in and kissed him. "Sweetness."

"I mean it. No visitors, no going out. We lock the doors and just exist in here" Ianto frowned as he looked into Jack's eyes like he was trying to see if he was agreeing.

"Well … I will go get supplies now, call Owen while I'm doing it. How about you stay here nice and safe in your kitty house and make up the big bed in the lounge, sort what DVDs you want and if you want to watch something we don't have I can swing by the store and grab it, yeah?" Jack crooned.

Ianto pouted as he nodded, whispering "hurry. I need cuddles!"

Jack found himself in the milk aisle of the supermarket looking at the rows of bottles, the chocolate milk taking his eye and he smiled as he put a couple on the cart, followed but a strawberry one. He then started pulling biscuits into the cart, crisps and pop tarts that might be OK over an open fire … he knew Estelle had a wonderful toaster for the open fire, a cage on a long handle that made it yummy … um … toast and some cheese. Moses loved cheese even if his bum tooted.

Jack was humming now, chocolate added … some pate …. Oooooo … wine …. The cart looked like a weird party was about to happen, the peanut butter and honey bear sitting on top also an indicator of some hopeful mischief.

He returned home to find the living room had been pulled apart, a bed made from a mattress that was clearly from the spare room, bedding and so many pillows Jack wondered where they all came from. Ianto was settled in the middle with Moses sitting on his head like some weird hat.

"Ah. He returns my minion!" Ianto said in a silly voice and Jack was heartened to see that they had been playing some game, Moses making a weird noise of agreement. This must have been something they did when alone when young, ways to entertain and show affection. He was touched that they were letting their Inner Kitten out to play.

They settled to watch some silly TV with food, drink and love.

Ianto felt much better.

Moses started to see the funny side.

But Owen did have to pay.

* * *

 


	21. a holiday?

"And this is your fluff?" the woman crooned as she peered into the cat carrier and Ianto resisted the urge to hiss at her as he pulled it back and Jack caught the grimace, stepping between them.

"Yes, he's shy. Hates travelling but loves holidays. You know cats" Jack said with his shit eating grin distracting her as Ianto moved for the other room. He wanted to explore the cabin, as did Moses and soon the woman was giggling like a school girl as she left them to it and Ianto sighed with relief as he was finally able to release Moses into the rental place Jack had surprised them with.

"Right. First we explore the place, the smells and such. Get used to the spaces. Then food. Then sleep as it is quite late" Ianto said sternly to his grandchild/cat. "Then tomorrow we can go see the yard and stuff, in the afternoon take the steps down to the water. I do NOT want you going in that water do you hear? It's to look at and listen to. People drown in water. I do not want you to think it's like the bath rub you steal while I am still undressing. The Sea is like a living creature that will eat you. Beachcombing will be fun and Jack had long casting fishing rods so he will try to catch you a fish. Imagine Moses, a real live fish!"

Moses could imagine, oh yes he was imagining as his whiskers twitched and he looked at Jack with open question.

"Yeah, tomorrow Moses. Promise. I might not catch anything as I am rusty. It's been … thirty or forty years since I last cast but … maybe. I will try for my friend." Jack assured him, bopping his head affectionately as he sat to remove his boots and place them by the bed.

Moses made a noise in his throat and decided to stalk the floral display in the corner. I mean seriously, who puts a dried flower arrangement in the floor. IN the corner. It was weird and unsettling for the cat who really wanted to see why. _Was it hiding something? Was it like … a spy camera? You know you hear about these things, cameras in rental bedrooms so perverts could…. Ah. Nope._

Ianto looked up as Moses shoved his face into the flowers and sighed "Moe. Come on, you'll poke an eye out doing stuff like that."

**Just checking.**

"Of course. I understand. Do you want them away?"" Ianto asked as he walked over to kneel and look at them. "Creepy."

**Please**

Ianto lifted them up and looked around, then walked to the sliding doors of the wardrobe, placing them on a shelf and closing the door, the black void becoming a mirror image of Moses whose eyes widened as he looked at himself.

**Mirror.**

"Yes. It's a…" Ianto sighed and stopped talking as Moses started to now stalk himself. His fat bulk fluffing up as he put on his best 'killy-killy die-die' face and started to yowl in a dangerous manner.

"Is he OK? Sounds like a fur ball" Jack said distractedly as he placed things on the bedside table and Moses stopped his game to turn and look at Jack, then pointedly at his boots. Jack looked up from his task in time to catch the warning and stared at him then started to laugh. "Fair enough old man. Didn't mean offence. By all means … training is important in hand to hand combat. I agree."

Moses let his whiskers flick forward into a handlebar moustache and blew a raspberry at Jack who laughed some more, then the cat went back to preening.

"Let him have some fun. At least he can't run into this one and make it fall on him like the one I leaned against the wall while looking for the hammer in the hallway at home" Ianto scolded and Jack felt a rush of delight in hearing the house referred to as 'home' so he turned.

"Our home"

"But this is nice too. A wonderful idea, very thoughtful. Thank you Cariad" Ianto sat on the bed and removed his shoes as well, humming softly as he does when happy and it was soothing to all concerned.

"Right. Gonna check those brochures she left for a food delivery place. I'm hungry." Jack rose as Ianto looked at the cat.

"See? Told you. The hamburger place was not tea, simply a hole filler. Than man can eat more per body mass than you!" he told the cat who settled primly to look at Ianto .

**Fish?**

"Maybe. I shall go see."

"FISH?" Jack roared from the other room. "Fish and chips love? How about some sausages and deep fried onion rings too?"

"Perfect Cariad, remember an extra fish for Moses for brekkie" Ianto yelled back, the rules of not raising your voice in the house clearly not in force.

It was a holiday.

All rules were off.

Moses looked at the bed with a soft downy comforter on it and a crocheted rug at the foot, and wondered if anyone would remember his bed in the back of the SUV.

**Heh heh.**

**Hope not.**


	22. Eli?

Moses woke first, stretching as he yawned and then looked shamefully at his tail as it lazily flicked back and forth to…ah…disperse the pop that had happened. Not his fault really, getting old ya know. Expected to happen really, after all … Jack had been lovely in letting him have some of the batter still on his fish when Ianto had turned to the bench. Fish is lovely but that batter ... yummmmmm.

"Do you need out Moe?" Ianto sleepily mumbled as he started to wake, the 'pop' not missed by him either. Moses had the grace to look embarrassed as Ianto rose from the bed to stretch and yawn, reaching for the ceiling, then swung his hands down to touch his toes.

Pop

Moses blinked, then started to chuckle as Ianto made out he hadn't a lot just 'popped off' from the last night's meal as well. With a wink Ianto walked to the ranch slider and opened it to look out over the garden and sea rolling down to the shore beyond.

Jack woke to the vision of Ianto standing with his back to him looking out, the roses and greenery framing Ianto with the scent of the sea air mixing with a fresh morning. Those bare arse cheeks may have had a bite mark on one but he looked so delicious that Jack felt his mouth water.

Moses wandered out, a flick of the tail to say goodbye as he stepped into the morning sunlight, scented the air and then trotted off towards the rose garden for his morning ablutions. Ianto watched him go then turned to face the bed, knowing the slow turn was torture for the one in the bedding whose groan proved him right.

"Good morning Cariad."

"Tiger, you really do stop my heart" Jack sighed "You are… what the hell is that smell?"

"Moses needed the loo. You gave him batter again" Ianto said, easily blaming the cat for what he knew was partly his stink still lingering. Embarrassing for a big cat too ya know.

"So, we need some breakfast things… lunch things … I suggest one of us goes shopping while the other gets the place ready for breakfast" Ianto said, smiling as Jack simply pointed to the keys.

"Go on. You know I will come back with chocolate and whipped cream" he admitted as Ianto laughed and scooped up the keys, skipping out the door with glee after a kiss and clothes ... after a litle cuddle like.

He drove along the road and turned left into the little village they had crept though the night before, loving the white picket fences, the perfect lawns and little potted colour along the footpaths. He saw a corner shop and stopped, clambering out to head in when he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he slowed the walk to look to his left, right into the eyes of a little old woman who was staring back at him as her watering can slowly dripped on the path by her pink slippers.

For a crazy moment he thought he might still be naked or something but knew he was not. Nope. No Jones EVER leaves the bedroom without clothing. Even a bathrobe around the flat felt weird. He stopped walking and said softly "Bore Da"

She blinked "Welsh? You are Welsh?"

"I am myself" he replied "But yes. Wales is where I live."

"Felinealiod then are ye" she said with equal conversational tone, like talking about the weather.

"Indeed little one. You look like one of Melinda's" he guessed "I've not seen one of your blood for some time. Purrings and whisker kisses to you sister."

She blushed.

Ianto could not believe it. Here in the middle of nowhere a fellow alien. For fucksake, Torchwood might not be to blame for this one and…really… does it matter? After all … he sort of knows this one. "Elisha?"

"Yes" she said with surprise "I that you Ianto?"

"Yes" he relaxed as they now knew one another and that desire to spit and hiss had passed. She was now animated, the watering can hitting the path as she scuttled forward to touch him. He allowed it and without thinking leaned in to let their noses touch in a cat kiss.

"It is you" she said happily "Oh sweet Ianto. Uncle."

"My great grandchild Moses is here with me" Ianto laughed softly as she pointed to a small cat watching from the flowerbed "Is that one of yours?"

"That is my great-great grand daughter. Stuck in feline form I am afraid" she sighed.

"Moses prefers that too. Unfortunately, we were born before that was accepted. How times change" he was unaware that he was holding her hands as they talked until someone spoke and he moved sharply to face the young man.

"Aunt Eli, all good here?" the man demanded, the Heddlu uniform a surprise. "Is this man bothering you?"

Ianto was mildly amused as this ….human … thought he could puff his chest out and make Ianto uncomfortable.

"Don't' be a tool Simon" she snapped "Piss off, you were an annoying child as well. Cannot hold a tune. I tried to teach him the piano for three summers before calling him musically retarded. Only student to ever fail me!"

Ianto laughed as the man scuttled off and she huffed softly after him.

Always was a scratchy cat … in this one's bloodline!


	23. treats

Ianto returned enthused and full of excitement. It had been lovely to visit with family like that, to see that others had made a little home for themselves. Made him wonder about others. Still. Best not seek, like most cats they are also a solitary kind who like space and peace.

Ianto was an exception to the rule. Always breaking said rules, even as a kit. Moses had a streak of him me thinks. He entered the house and called out "I'm back!"

Moses shot out from under the sofa with a guilty look. Then started to walk calmly like he had not just been propelled as if form a tiny invisible cannon.

"Moe?"

"Hey Tiger" Jack entered, his hair stylishly flopping about as he hadn't slicked it after the shower "Ws gonna send a search party. What did you get?"

Ianto looked at the cat with suspicion then let Jack help unpack the bags, the smells soon filling the space as he found the still warm food from the delicatessen Ianto had visited last. Good him having found a local, someone happily telling you the best places to visit for their delicate palate.

**Smells…what is that?**

Ianto silently lifted a bag down and Moses approached, his nose twitching. Jack had a warm donut covered in cinnamon and brown sugar almost to his mouth and he froze to watch the cat move to its hind legs, to walk as a humanoid, the front paws opening the bag with the dexterity of one a well. Moses peered in and made a noise then to Jack's absolute delight the cat…pounced.

He jumped straight up into the air and then down like a dive. Into the bag that fell over and started to rustle and shake as his arse end flopped about and sounds of a struggle could be heard.

"Ignore him. It's catnip" Ianto said with a soft smile "A place here grows and sells it fresh. He will be busy for hours with the toys in there growing the hoard under that sofa."

Jack turned to look at the sofa and his eyes widened "You mean … that's why I can't find my cufflink?"

"He's bored. A bored cat is an evil cat" Ianto snorted "He likes things that are shiny. That make a noise across the floor or feel different in your mouth. He's a cat Cariad."

"So are you" Jack accused happily, accepting the mig of coffee Ianto poured.

"And I also like shiny things, does my coffee machine at home not shine? Owen makes a lot of noise across the floor when a spider-mouse is loose and as the something in my mouth ...well… let's not be crass at the breakfast table."

Jack roared with mirth as he slapped the table, Moses starting a soft purring noise as he lay in the bag totally blissed out. Jack looked down "You know … that's a drug. You are a drug pusher."

"I know. Got handcuffs? You an arrest me later" Ianto winked.

In the bag Moses started to sing.

.

..

.

.

.

"I don't believe it. In just two hours?"Jack shook his head with wonder as Ianto and he moved the sofa to reveal the little hoard. "Look at that. See? Little fuzzy dragons!"

"Awww, look. My sock." Ianto was touched that Moses wanted a smell of him and considered "You know Cariad, we are here for a few days. Will it hurt?"

They looked at one another and then moved the sofa back as they agreed the fluff should have his fun too. It is a holiday after all. Speaking of which, the bag was moving, propelled by back feet as Moses slithered about the kitchen floor making silly meowing noises.

"Can he see where he is going?" Jack asked, the crash of the chair telling the answer.

"You know, if he keeps that up he will miss the video chat with Owen" Ianto said calmly, the bag exploding into the air as Moses raced towards them. Owen. He was rather fond of that one. Video?

Ianto settled the laptop and turned it on, finding the right app to click and Owen was already waiting, his face lighting up as Moses let his whiskers stand straight out.

"MOE! Look I found a crellitor in the bay" Owen held up a jar of liquid that had a small…thing in tit. "When you get back I will dissect it, yeah? I can't wait. Oh, and look. A weevil claw I found stuck in a victim."

Moses was now leaning close to the screen making appropriate noises.

"Moses, he cannot hear you with the mind. Too far for a connection" Ianto said as he watched the love fest and Moses nodded.

"Miss you stinker" Moses said in his strange melodic voice and Owen gushed as he started to read a newspaper article Moses might like.

"Strange relationship, that one" Jack said as he settled on the sofa with Ianto, a hand going to Ianto's hair to stroke in a way that always made Ianto feel bones.

"Yes Cariad" Ianto murmured as he stetted against him "But love is love."

Jack could only agree.


	24. knocking on wood?

Owen had loved the tat Ianto had dumped on the table along with the local touristy souvenirs, going over the key rings and fridge magnets to find the ones he really wanted. The girls waited patiently like it was no big deal, the annoying little brother allowed to act like a twat. Toshiko's gaze was on the egg cup for her collection.

They were finishing up the reports of what happened while the men were away when the phone rang to sound an alarm of intruders in the top office. Ianto looked up at the screen with shock as UNIT entered the Tourist Office. With a frown of annoyance Ianto headed up to intercept them.

Papers were shown, chests banged and Jack touched a button to make a red light green after watching on the screen for a while.

"Crisis averted" Ianto said calmly as he pointed at the little light on the desk "Seems the team managed to solve the case and the base is now cleansed. Just… don't touch anything I don't."

Ianto produced a silver tray and sidearms were removed and handed over. Ianto watched as one of the men looked disgustedly at the floors and then his shoes. Not military. Not with that amount of makeup plastered on and Botox making him wooden. Huh.

Ianto led them down, careful not to touch the walls or hand rails so they could not either, the two women in heels finding the going a little tough. He didn't' mention the fact they have a lift either, making them take the several flights of stairs. Of course he was fresh as a daisy, even if they were puffing slightly. Supposed to be solders. With the women in heels? Ha! Ianto led them to the conference room where Jack was waiting, his pose all sorted with a crotch display. Ianto resisted the urge to leer, settling for a wink that had Jack doing a double take before remembering the game.

Everyone sat and Jack finally did too. Ianto moving around providing refreshments as Owen fiddled with a heart at the table. Something Ianto would usually scold for but what the hey. Special occasion right?

"So you see Captain. It would be in the best interests of everyone if next time one of these craft comes into orbit you do not send the message to it that made it leave" the General was snarling "We had uses for that. We want to know how you did it."

"Sol 3 is protected under the Shadow Proclamation. I was simply reminding them it was restricted space….space. Ianto?" Jack looked confused for a moment.

"Universal space" Ianto said softly and Jack perked up.

"Yes, restricted Universal Space. I know they were probably not paying attention to the flight controls and had drifted into our gravitational pull. You do not want them on the ground here, little shits breed like rabbits and eat rubber. Imagine all the vehicles without tyres around here!" Jack laughed and slapped the table like it was a huge joke. It sort of was. Last time UNIT entered a Torchwood Holding Grid Owen and Ianto HAD removed their tyres and left all four vehicles on their rims. Jack had been touched with the display of cheekiness, especially as Toshiko had helped by jumping on the tyre wrench while Gwen let her tits distract everyone.

"Captain." The General tried again "I really…. God. Something touched me."

Everyone stared at the man who was slowly pushing his chair back while looking down at the floor under the table, several men pulling out their concealed weapons.

"Ianto? Did you not do a weapon search?" Jack sighed.

"They gave up their sidearms. How was I supposed to know they were not coming here to play fear!" Inot replied with a pout "dirty pool, that!"

"It's just a cat" the General flopped back in his chair and started to laugh "Christ. That gave me the bloody willies then."

**TWAT**

Ianto tried not to respond to the very loud word that hung in the air as Owen coughed into his hand and Jack blinked. The women both blinked. Huh. Ianto looked at the Telepaths with new interest, relieved he had been singing a nonsense song to himself and Moses for the last half hour. Owen's brain would have been full of heart and Tosh's full of lust over those shoes. Gwen? Well. Probably vacant. Aww, now that' snot fair! Well … right though. Jack's void would have no doubt confused them enough to distract. After all, it would be Jack they were supposed to be reading. Good luck with that. Ianto looked at Jack and send a 'private' thought on the matter. Good thing those firewalls do not apply between them.

"So. Tell us again General. What is it you really came for?" Jack was a predator now, leaning over the table to stare the man down.

"Just some interoffice communication" the General said as he looked at the two women who were looking around the room with open confusion. No doubt not sure who they had heard so clearly.

Moses wandered out from under the table and shot his whiskers forward, looking up at the General like he was a simpleton.

**YOU ARE IN MY SEAT**

Ianto started to gather up some files. Jack and the others did not move an inch.

"Del?" one woman hissed.

"Yeah" Del answered "I did. Can't see. Too ….too … small."

Moses was offended, his whiskers drooping for a moment before anger set in and he rose to his full height, tail held high as he started to leave the room, shouting over his shoulder at the two women.

**BIG ENOUGH TO SHIT IN SHOES LIKE THAT!**

Both women turned to stare at Jack. Jack stared back with surprise "What. You hear someone thinking they are shitting in one of your shoes and you blame me? Just like that? I am hurt."

"What?" the General blustered.

"Next time you try to sneak some Telepaths into my base to discover my secret thoughts please remember a little known fact" Jack said as he waved them towards the door "We have our own, stronger, darker and clearly more talented."

Moses sat primly on the arm of the old sofa watching the door slide closed after them and he turned to look up at Jack "Clearly inferior stock."

Jack smiled as the rare moments Moses spoke out loud were always sweet, his little voce so melodic and childlike, even if accompanied with a scowl from the depth of hell.

"Good boy Moe. Num-nums?" Owen crooned as he scooped the cat up and Jack sighed as he rubbed at his face.

Bloody UNIT would be curious as all hell now.


	25. warning

Given the snark level, Jack knew they would blame Owen. Especially as he had sniggered the entire time like a mental patient so he put the man on a task that would keep him base bound for a while. Owen didn't mind, the file on the lifecycle of a Dergalot had been something he had wanted for some time and he was currently settled on the sofa with Moses asleep in his lap, drinking in the sketches and vast descriptions of their reproductive systems.

"He didn't think. He's a cat" Ianto was taking softly to Jack up in the office "We just need to give it a couple of days to cool down. Another 'end of the world' bullshit thing will come along for UNIT to get heated about and they will forget. They always have in the past."

"In the past we didn't dangle a Telepath at them so strong" Jack replied as he rose "No. I don't like this at all. I think a few days of quiet time for us. The Rift is dormant right now and if they go home they might get scooped up so I want a Team Exercise down here where we are safe until Lizzie can do her threatening thing."

"Cariad, do stop calling Her Majesty that, you know it annoys me" Ianto scolded gently.

"So. Lockdown!" Jack said happily.

"Not yet. Owen gave Moses the last of his treads and a treatless cat is a soulless one sir" Ianto sighed "I had emergency supplies in so we would last a week in a crisis but Owen keeps delving into it instead of simply buying extra, tight arsed little shit!"

"Oh, potty mouth!" Jack gasped with glee, leaning in for a kiss that was sweet. "Hurry up then."

Ianto exited the Tourist Office and headed across the Plass to the Pet Store down the side alley that had Moses' favourite things. Since their sales had spiked with the arrival of a suited gentleman who had carried his cat around like a baby while filling an entire trolley they always had the favourite things aside and always jumped eagerly when he entered.

"No Moses today?" the sales assistant asked, slightly deflated as the cat did seem to be an actor.

"No, he's grounded for being insulting to a guest" Ianto said sagely and she grinned "So. He needs treaties. Ah, yes the orange bags today. He's gone off the green label, overdosed on them I think. He never listens when I want him to, those make his tum rumble. Ah yes."

Ianto wandered about filling a basket to amuse and show love to his little man, another shopper stepping aside as Ianto leaned over to snag some catnip toys. He smiled politey and then it faded as he recognised the UNIT man with the Botox problem.

Ianto was calm, walking over to place the basket down "Ring those up and add that bucket over there full of dirt box soil. He does prefer the smell of that. I shall just use the loo."

Ianto walked out to the toilet area and waited, the man squeaking as Ianto seized him upon entering the bathroom. Ianto seized the lapels of his jacket and swung him around, slamming him into the tiled wall and before he could stop himself he hissed in the man's face like a lunatic. Well … he was a threat right?

"Are you following me?" he snarled, his hands now around the man's throat as the man squeaked with horror. The strength on display was astounding for one who had been so meek and mild an hour ago.

"No, getting treats for Matilda, my Tortty" the man stammered and Ianto considered, leaned in and smelt the man's clothing like a total mental patient as the man gaped then released him, stepping back.

"You have two cats!"

"what? I… yes. Matilda and Manfred. Manny doesn't care for treats, he is all about the toys" the man said as he straightened hi clothes then froze, "Wait. How did you know that?"

"You think you are watching us and we are not watching you?" Ianto bluffed "We know everything about you too. After all … Manfred is Siamese and the younger of the two. Matilda has a reflux problem in her old age."

He stared.

"I do not know what UNIT told you but you are in dangerous territory. You do know we work for Her Majesty the Queen right? I mean … we are above the law, above UNIT even. Why they keep trying to get the upper hand. Hate not being the top bullies in the school yard. Just be careful. They do not play fair. If you were just shopping why follow me in here? Be careful, you do not know where you step" Ianto warned as he reached out and hooked something from the man's basket "And don't buy this. Matilda is too old for this brand, too much grain in the product for her bowels. Go back out and find one with a blue label and a picture of a white cat. They are for older cats and will help with the reflux issues."

The man stared then nodded as he watched Ianto depart the bathroom.

Ianto checked constantly all the way back to the Hub, stopping at the bakery for treats for his other 'kids' as well.

UNIT were playing with fire.


	26. moonlight

Dusk. Everyone was shutting down their electronics as Owen called out movie titles for a general consensus on what they were going to watch.

Ianto slipped out the side entrance and walked along the quay to the meeting place, pausing to check now and then for markers and signals left. Finally there, he settled to sit and wait for the others to arrive. It had been a while since he had been to one of these but some things ever change.

Moses followed sedately and settled next to him "He was almost stifling then. Thank the Gods he lost the remote. He will spend at least an hour searching the hellhole he calls his workspace for it."

"And it is where?" Ianto asked.

"In Jack's top drawer. He told us not to be long" Moses replied primly, then smiled as a sweet queen approached, her had high as she demanded to know who they were. Moses' answer making her crouch to her belly.

Once they were present and accounted for Moses rose "Good evening my brethren. I know you ask who is with me tonight, I know it has been awhile since a collective was called but it is necessary now. UNIT are sniffing about and it is important we warn all our clutches of this element that is active at the moment."

Ianto sighted as he rose to address them, more than one recognising him and taking a step back to show reverence to an elder.

"As you know, we approach the solstice. An important time for our kind, also a time when the Mara are active as well. We must remember that they need space, if you find yourself in an area they want, retreat with decorum. We have a treaty." Ianto said firmly and heads nodded, more than one softly speaking an affirmative. "Moses and I call on all of you to be vigilant and look for any signs of UNIT in the area. We do not know their full intention but do know they are following us and trying to get close. This is not the first time they have tried to trap us into showing ourselves, will not be the last. We do not have to make it easy for them. Alferd, you have the roster still from last time? Tweak it and let's start the rotations. I want bodies on the ground, eyes on the people and ears to the wind."

"YES GREAT UNCLE"

Ianto nodded, then looked to a small ginger tom who was listening "And as for you. I want you listening more intently to anything that has a ring of UNIT to it. They were thwarted by us last week and are smarting. I get the feeling they will try to do some sort of one-upmanship with the next vessel that enters our quadrant."

"Great Uncle… do they know our frequencies?" a voice yowled.

"No. Still, they are indifferent to the possibility of a larger world than the one of Man or a species smaller and wizer They are getting close, I do not want anyone to risk themselves or their clutch. OK? Keep your distance and report back anything you sense is different or wrong. You will know." Ianto then looked around, "Anyone else with a question?"

"How old are you?"

Ianto laughed "Take your age Hester, add it together, times it by ten then take away each time you ate fish. Maybe you will get close? Or is it add not subtract?"

General laughter as they all agreed he would never tell them and it was not their place to know these things anyway, their own lives so vast.

They ended the meeting with a song of redemption then dispersed. Moses and Ianto headed back towards the Hub "you know, I have always been fond of humans. Found them good companion pets but it is only recently that I see they need more care than previously thought. They get wet in the rain, eat bad things and often hurt one another like kittens. I do not know how they will make it as a species."

"I know. In all the years I have known man, he has been a selfish coward of a bully. I think it is their nature to want to hurt, maim and conquer one another. Gotta be king of the castle. I fear they will tear the planet apart in the end, as we did ours. We were foolish, headstrong and more than slightly up ourselves. I see the hallmarks here too" Ianto agreed.

"Why we must try harder" Moses stopped walking and turned to face into "Why we MUST love them."

"Yes little one" Ianto smiled, leaning forward to touch noses "Love conquers all."

"All you need is love" Moses agreed sagely "Johnny even wrote a song about it, shared with these fickle things. How did they repay him? They shot him!"

"He was a good cat, but that Siamese he hooked up with was a witch. Horrible singing voice." Ianto agreed sagely then sighed nodding for Moses to go first and the cat slithered through the little door into the marina, then turned to watch Ianto follow.

The dark Taddy slithering after him, the markings in the fur grey on black with the thin lines almost pinstripe. His eyes an uncommon grey with gold flecks. His face was refined and his nose pert, the whiskers on his face surprisingly white against the dark fur.

Handsome. Sleek and pettable. Anyone seeing such a cat would want to touch in order to see if the fur was as soft as it looked, not short, not long. Medium length so your fingers could sink on.

Which Jack did a he reached down to stroke the long arching back and his hand slid up the slightly crooked tail before he closed and latched the door.

"Ianto, you handsome devil" Jack whispered "For a Tiger, you make a very nice pussy."

The 'pussy' grew to the size of a Great Dane, the markings moving as Ianto became a large black and grey Tiger.

Jack's laughter was childlike as Ianto played with him for a moment before transforming to human form, the pinstripe suit the grey and black of his markings.

How can you not love that!


End file.
